


Repair

by femalefighter56



Series: Destruction Series [2]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Death, Fear, Love, M/M, Sickness, Strenght
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-02
Updated: 2017-08-22
Packaged: 2018-12-10 07:16:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 30,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11686716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/femalefighter56/pseuds/femalefighter56
Summary: Victor is ready to settle down with the love of his life and plan a life away from the ice. If only the fates will allow it.





	1. Chapter 1

Repair

Chapter 1

 **Disclaimer-** I own nothing!

A/N-This is the sequel to Destruction and takes place right after the previous events.

            Viktor sat at in the kitchen table trying not to fall asleep as he went over wedding plans with Yuri. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to he was just tired. The Olympics were coming up in a few weeks and he was spending all his time working on that. He felt horrible that he hardly saw Yuri anymore it felt like. He was always so exhausted from practice he would eat dinner than pass out for the night.

            “Go to bed Viktor, we can work on this later.”

            “But the wedding is in a few months we need to get this done.”     

            “All the important stuff is taken care. If something little doesn’t happen I don’t care.” Hearing that from his fiancées mouth only made Viktor feel worse.

            “I want this to be the wedding of your dreams Yuri. You deserve nothing less than that.”

            “The wedding of my dreams is just you, me, my family and Makkachin.” Getting a kiss from his love he saw him smile. “Go to bed Viktor.”

            “Tomorrow I will tell Yakov I need a half day and we can spend the day wedding planning and hanging out. I miss spending time with you.”

            “I miss you too but I get it. You have to practice for the games soon and you changed your program so you have to get it up to speed.”

            “Half day. No matter what. Come to the rink at two and get me.” Giving his love a kiss good night he went to their room and passed out within minutes of hitting the covers.

            Seeing Yuri coming into the rink at two, Viktor finished up and told Yakov he would see him tomorrow. He was surprised he didn’t get a hard time about leaving practice early. Maybe he was better off than he thought, or Yakov saw he was exhausted from the constant practice. This was his second and probably last Olympics. Last time he won silver but this year he was taking the gold. He had changed his programs for this for the fact that he was struggling with what he started at the grand prix and after nationals he knew he had to change it if he wanted a chance. It wasn’t common what he did but there was no rule against it either.

            Taking Yuri’s hand they went to a coffee shop to sit, relax, and have a long overdue mini date they finished up their wedding planning. This was nice for both of them to just get out of the apartment and spend the day together.

            “My mother said everything has been ordered for the venue we just have a few last minute details like seating arrangements, wedding favors, and um…something else I wrote down.” Watching his fiancée open their wedding folder Viktor just watched him and sipped his coffee. Seeing Yuri had stopped what he was doing he saw the look on his face that said he was confused as to why he was staring at his face.

            “I just can’t wait to be your husband. Move back to Japan and start our life together.”

            As Yuri’s face blushed and he smiled, Viktor’s smile widened.

“Oh! My mother told me something the other day. I told her you probably wouldn’t be interested but I figure it’s only fair I bring it up. She said we were more than welcome to move back to the inn while we find a place after the season ended.”

            “And why wouldn’t I like that? I love your parents and it would beat staying at a hotel or renting the first apartment we can find.”

            “Really? I guess I figured you would rather just move but it does make sense doesn’t it? If we stay with them finding a place will be easier and we can see it in person rather than just online.”

            “You don’t like the idea of us moving back to your parents’ house do you?”

            “Well. I don’t hate the idea. I just…we are going to be newlyweds and I figured we would start our lives separate from them. But. No. It makes sense to take her up on her offer.”

            “We don’t have to stay long. Month tops. A week to find a place and then three weeks of paperwork.” Taking his fiancées hand, Viktor rubbed the engagement ring on his finger. It was the set Yuri gave him for his birthday and while he would have liked to get him an engagement ring it seemed like a waste. The rings were in perfect condition and beautiful on their own. They were talking about just getting them engraved for the wedding though the thought of taking them off was rough.

            Sitting there for over an hour they got up when they realized the shop was getting crowded. It was only fair that those entering had a place to sit. They had finished up what they had to do anyway and they could send everything to those that needed it once they were home. Leaving the shop, they walked the streets a bit before getting cold and heading back to their place. Makkachin was probably missing them anyway.

            “I’m glad I took this day for us Yuri. I hope you can forgive me for not being around so much lately.”

            “I am not mad Viktor. I told you to do this and I know it involves a lot of practice.”

            “I can’t wait to be done though. Finish up the season, retire, move back to Japan and really start my life with you.” Taking Yuri’s hand he brought it to his lips as they stood outside their apartment door. “I love figure skating and being back has been great but being with you means more than this sport could ever do for me. I want to grow old with you on the beach of Hasetsu.” Watching his lover’s face turn bright red he leaned in to kiss him. “I love you Yuri and thank you for staying by my side.”

            “Always Viktor. I love you too.”

            Cuddling up with Yuri in bed for the night he held him close while they talked about the wedding. Both were looking forward to the Olympics and seeing their friends again but at the same time they knew that in April they would be becoming one. He loved the man he held more than words and nothing was going to change that. He would win this season though and use that money to take care of him forever. Yuri still had to be careful of what he did with his back though it had healed nicely after the surgery. He didn’t want him to damage it again. Even if he had to work at the inn once he retired he wouldn’t care so long as Yuri could take it easy. Never before had he wanted to take care of another person the way he wanted to take care of his fiancée.

            Getting dressed to head to the rink for the day Viktor held out his jacket for Yuri to take.

“It looks cute on you.”

            “Yurio is going to tease me again.”

            “Please. It will make me feel better.” Seeing Yuri holding his old Olympics jacket Viktor couldn’t help but smile. He knew Yuri liked wearing it around the house when he wasn’t home and right now his other favorite jacket was in the wash. The rink was too cold to wear just the long sleeve Yuri had on even if he kept his on winter coat. Getting Yuri to sigh and agree they grabbed their heavy coats and Makkachin and headed to the rink. They were leaving for the Olympics this weekend so this was crunch time for them. Yuri told his mother they weren’t doing anymore more wedding planning until after they were over so Viktor could just focus on them.

            Being clapped at by his lover Viktor smiled and blew him a kiss. Hearing Yurio complain about the intimacy he didn’t see anything wrong with this. He loved Yuri and all he was doing was sending him a little sign of that.

            “What is he going to do in Korea?”

            “He has a hotel near the venue. They won’t let him stay in the village even though I tried adding him as a coach. But, it’s not a huge problem. I even snagged him great seats for the program.”

            “Yea. My grandfather got second row I believe.”

            “Same with Yuri. Who knows, maybe they will sit next to each other and keep the other company.”

            “Yea. Maybe.” Watching Yurio huff and skate off to get back to practice Viktor shrugged his shoulders and went after him. He wasn’t all the crazy about Yuri not being allowed to stay with him but the committee was strict on their rules. It was only a few days anyway. Once the figure skating was over he was going to stay with Yuri no matter what. He had to stay for the closing ceremonies but there was no rule he had to stay in the Olympic Village.

            Knowing they had to catch their flight later Viktor dropped Makkachin off at the kennel. Usually he asked someone from the rink to watch him but with most of his mates joining them he had no one to ask.

            “Makkachin, I don’t have to tell you this but be good and I’ll be back soon with another medal okay?” Giving his oldest friend a good rubbing he got a kiss back. This place was the best boarding place in Saint Petersburg so he knew he would be taken care of. His biggest fear was Makkachin fearing he was abandoned. That was why he usually left him home. Feeling Yuri tug his shoulder he knew he had to get going and gave him one last hug.

            “You okay?” Hearing Yuri ask him he nodded and took his hand.

            “He will be fine I know.”

            “I get that you hate leaving him but we had no choice.”

            Giving Yuri a kiss they got back in the taxi and headed to the airport to meet the others.

            Finally landing in South Korea Viktor took the sights in. This place was beautiful. Keeping Yuri’s hand in his own they grabbed their bags from baggage claim and split from the rest of the group for right now. Viktor’s plan was to get Yuri checked in and settled before he headed to his own check in. He knew Yuri wasn’t allowed to stay in the village but from what he heard there wasn’t any rule stating he couldn’t explore with him.

            Sitting on the bed in the hotel Yuri called his parents to let them know they landed safely before saying he would talk to them tonight. It warmed his heart that Yuri’s parents were so involved in their son’s life. They supported him in everything and were always wondering about his well-being. That was something he wasn’t used to. His own parents had never given a shit about what happened with him so long as he was winning.

            “Want to get something to eat?” At his fiancée’s question, Viktor nodded and got off the bed.

            “What will you do when I am not here with you? Have you gotten any Korean down?” Asking Yuri this important question he saw the face he made.

            “I brought the book we got so I can order food but I don’t think I can do much else.”

            “At least you can take care of yourself so that’s good.” Giving him a kiss they got their things together and left the room.

            Keeping Yuri close with an arm around his shoulder they found a place to eat and did some touring after. Getting a text from Yakov about where he was they headed to the village for a little while.

            “Keep my coat on you while we are here.”

            “Okay? Can I ask why?”

            “Because then everyone knows you are with me.”

            “You just want me as arm candy?”

            “No.” He knew Yuri thought that was what was considered to Viktor before and he didn’t want to bring that thought up again. Yuri was so much more than that to him. “I would like you to wear it so you know I’m still here even when I’m not. Not having us be together upsets me because you inspire me so much to be at my best. Seeing you wearing my old jacket tells me and the world that we are together even when apart. Plus, it looks good on you.” Winking at his lover he saw Yuri blush and look away.

            “Okay. But only so you know I will always support you. Plus it is really comfortable.”

            Sharing a kiss he could feel Yuri’s face get red because they were in public. He really loved this side of him.

            Lounging in bed for the night he text Yuri to kill time. He had nothing else to do. Yakov was in bed, Yurio was still hanging out with his grandfather, him being sixteen helped bend the rules a bit. He was no child but minors were allowed to have parents stay near them. Each team member had a sleeping buddy and he was Yurio’s but that didn’t mean he had to baby him this entire time.

            Speaking of, he heard their door open and Yurio come walking in before he plopped face first in the bed.

            “How is your grandfather?”

            “He is good.”

            “What hotel is he in?”

            “The same one as Yuri apparently. I saw him as I was leaving.”

            “Oh?”

            “Yea. So?”

            “No need to get snippy I was just curious.” Laughing, he sat up and pulled a deck of cards from his bag. “Care to play?”

            “You came here for the Olympics and you brought cards?” Watching him sit up and give him a confused look Viktor nodded and smiled.

            “Yea. If you aren’t out getting wasted you have nothing else to do. And I didn’t see a whole lot of places to drink.” Holding the cards out to Yurio he saw him slide closer.

            “Fine. Let’s play.” He knew that voice, he was hiding the fact that he was interested by acting like he didn’t care.

            Tossing and turning Viktor missed sleeping besides Yuri. He missed holding him and the feeling of someone being there. Since moving to Hasetsu he had him there. Okay, when they first met, Yuri liked to sleep alone but that was before they started dating. Once they had gotten close it was a rare occurrence they were separate. After his back injury Yuri spent time alone but it had been maybe once or twice.

            “Will you fricken stop and sleep, my god.”

            “Sorry.” Apologizing, he started to laugh from this whole thing. He did feel bad that he was keeping Yurio awake though.

            “Do we have practice tomorrow?”

            “Knowing Yakov yes but I don’t think all of us do.”

            “Awesome.”

            Rolling back over, they both shut their eyes and fell asleep.

            Hearing his phone going off Viktor opened his eyes bit to reach for it. Seeing it was Yakov he saw Yurio sitting up to yell at him for the ringer not being off. Signaling him to shut up with the complaining he answered the call.

            “Both of you need to be up and dressed in twenty minutes.”

            “But,”

            “Twenty minutes Vitya.” Groaning he hung up and told Yurio the plan. He was hoping for a day off. Knowing his coach, he was worried because he had two great skaters on the team and both were expected to place high here. There was bets and a lot of rumors about who was going to win he felt bad for the other contenders. There was some talk of JJ possibly sweeping as well but that was to be expected knowing how well he did in the past.

            Getting dressed both men heard a knock at the door. It hadn’t even been ten minutes. Pulling his shirt down Viktor went to answer it to see Otabek on the other side.

            “Hey.”

            “Hey. Yuri here?”

            “Yea.” Stepping aside he let him in and saw Yuri say hello to his friend. He didn’t know they knew each other.  Finishing getting ready, the three of them left the room together and headed downstairs to meet Yakov. There better be breakfast involved in all of this.

            Meeting with Yuri before the start of the men’s short program he saw he was wearing the old jacket. He really did look cute in it.

            “Look! We match!” He knew they didn’t. In fact this year they were all white with red lettering and the Olympics rings on the back. Watching his fiancée shake his head they walked in together.

            “You know. I am really glad you get to be here for this. Last time the only one rooting for me was Yakov and he has to root for me or else I don’t make him look good.”

            “I am glad I am here too.”

            Wanting to kiss those lips he loved so much he took Yuri’s hand and told the others they would be right back. Finding a hallway with no one he held him close and took him in.

            “I’ve really missed you. Not seeing you at practice and at night has been rough.”

            “I’ve missed you too. And blame your team for not letting anyone but coaches in the practice.” Finally getting a chance to kiss him he made sure he poured all his love into it.

            “I am going to win this for us, for you for putting up with me these past few months. I want the world to know what you mean to me.” Only seeing his face get redder he kissed him again before he heard Yakov calling at him. Taking Yuri back with him they broke off so he could warm up and Yuri could take his seat.

            After what felt like forever Viktor was finally up. He was beyond ready to show the world what he was made of. Hours of practice, gallons of blood, sweat and tears went into this program. Even though it was only his short program he pulled out all the stops. Four quads, and a complex step sequence. He had two minutes to wow the world he couldn’t afford to hold back. Especially not after Yurio’s program. He had to score over one-hundred and three to place first.

            Coming onto the ice he took his position center stage and looked out over the ice. Here he was, back for his chance to win the gold. This time though he had someone to share it with. This was for Yuri, the love of his life. He should have been here too and he would have been if he hadn’t let him get hurt. Sticking to his roots he combined a few classical pieces to help tell the story he wanted with the technical speed he needed.

This story was one of love. It spoke of heartbreak, finding new love and never looking back. There were no words but the tempo changes and the instruments all came together to reveal the story he wanted from it. With Yuri on his mind he hoped he knew how much he loved him, how much his love did for him. Never before had anyone meant so much to him. He wanted love but he knew it was this forbidden concept for him yet Yuri stayed. He loved him no matter what. He brought out a side of him he had locked away for so many years. Landing his signature quad flip he hoped Yuri knew how much his love meant to him. Even though he was a shitty fiancée at times to his partner he wanted his love to know he would always try to be a better man for him. He would go to the ends of the Earth for him.

Coming to the end of his program he finished with a flying sit spin to stand and slowly come out of it before he hit his final mark.

Then everything went dark.

 

 

“VICTOR!!!”

0o0o0o0o0

            Thank you for patiently waiting for me to come to this story. I’ve been plotting it for a while now and am excited to get to it.

~Femalefighter~

 

           

           


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

 **Disclaimer-** I own nothing!

            Yuri cheered and clapped with the others around him as he watched Viktor’s short program. It was intense but it was better than his original. At Nationals it was easy to see he made it harder than he could handle and the program looked choppy. This one had a flow to it and it brought tears to his eyes. Watching Viktor hit his final pose he stopped when saw him fall. Figuring he was just trying to get his breath he sat at the edge of seat and waited. _*Get up.*_ When he saw he wasn’t moving at all he stood up and yelled.

            “VIKTOR!” Something was wrong he could feel it. The love of his life wasn’t moving at all. Watching in horror as the on staff medical team quickly skated out to him he knew he couldn’t sit here and wait. Being let out by Yurio’s grandfather he ran down the exit to underneath where the skaters were gathering.

            “Excuse me!” Being stopped by the security he quickly tried to get around them. “That’s my fiancée that is injured I need to get by!” Not having the time for his he wished there wasn’t such strict rules on who was allowed beside the ice.

            “Yuri! He is with us! Excuse us!” Hearing his name he saw Yurio come over and quickly grab him to get him through. Breaking from him once he could he ran to the wall and stopped. Feeling his body shaking he didn’t want to believe what he was seeing. Being pulled back by someone he couldn’t get his eyes to pull from the medical team trying to attempt CPR on Viktor. No. This couldn’t be real. This was a nightmare. A horrible nightmare he was going to wake up from any moment now. Hearing someone shouting for everyone to move they all separated as a few more medical members rushed on the ice while two people stayed behind. Was that a defibrillator he was watching being set up beside them? What happened to the man he loved?

            Praying to every force in the universe he pleaded with them to bring him back. He couldn’t die. Seeing Viktor so exposed as they tried to shock his heart Yuri believed it had to be someone else this was happening to. Not the man that was fine an hour ago. They laughed, kissed, they joked around with each other. He was fine. He had always been fine.

            “We have a pulse.” Those words were music to his ears though his heart was breaking as he saw the oxygen mask being put on Viktor as Yuri heard his pulse was weak. Stepping forward he refused to be left behind while they rushed Viktor to the hospital.

            “You are with Viktor right?”

            “Yes! I am Yuri Katsuki.”

            “Here. You can hold on to this then.” Being given something he opened his hand to see it was Viktor’s ring. They must have taken it off before they tried to shock him. Looking back at Yurio and Yakov he heard Yakov tell him to go they would follow behind. Nodding, he ran behind the stretcher just hoping to know what had happened. Staying out of the way as they loaded Viktor to the back of the ambulance he got in once he was allowed and took Viktor’s hand. He was never letting it go, he was never letting him go.

            “…Y…Yuri…” The name was just a whisper and if he hadn’t been watching his face he might have missed it but he moved closer towards him from the chair and squeezed his hand tightly with his own.

            “I’m right here Viktor. I love you and I am right here. We are on our way to the hospital to get you the best care so please hold on for me.” Fighting back tears he was so scared he would lose him. He needed to be strong for him.

            “…love…you…” With those whispered words Yuri was asked to step aside as they worked. The beeping had gotten louder and the look on everyone’s face was focused and intense.

            “You can’t die. Do you hear me, you can’t. I can’t live without you.” Whispering them to his lover he knew he heard them. That ability came from the bond they shared.

            Holding himself together he paced the ER waiting room wishing to hear something. Once they had arrived they told him he had to stay here and someone would get him. Now it felt like forever since they left him and he knew nothing. He just wanted to know how Viktor was doing.

            “Yuri!!” Hearing his name he saw Phichit come running towards him and give him the biggest hug. Crying into his friend’s chest it felt good to cry, he was so scared of the unknown. Feeling a hand on his back a few moments later he was gently pushed towards the sitting area. Looking up from his friend he saw they weren’t alone, Yakov and Yurio made it as well.

            “How he is?” At Yakov’s question Yuri shook his head.

            “I don’t know. They won’t let me see him. But, well…I know his heart stopped again on the way over here.” Crying into his hands as the words left his mouth he felt Phichit pull him close. Please, couldn’t anyone wake them up from this nightmare? “And I am struggling to find anyone that speaks English or Russian here so communication has been tough.”

            “Viktor is strong Yuri he will pull through. Just you wait.” At his friends words he nodded knowing he had to be strong and have faith that he would recover from this. “He loves you too much to just leave you.” Pulling away he dried his eyes and tried to pull himself together, Phichit was right after all.

            “What happened back at the rink? Did they finish the programs?”

            “Well…Viktor was the last to go anyway…Not that we would have stayed either way.”

            Nodding at Yurio’s words, Yuri kept a grip on Phichit’s hand for strength while they waited for someone to tell them what was going on.

            “Everyone is really worried about him but knew they wouldn’t all be allowed here. I only tagged along figuring you could use the support.”

            “I appreciate it a lot Phichit. Is anyone able to contact Seung-gil? He speaks English right? I could really use his help in translating.” He wasn’t joking when he mentioned the language barrier. Once the paramedics dropped Viktor off he was quick to learn the nurses he was talking to didn’t speak any English or very little at most. They were going to find someone that could help them but the sooner the better.

            “I’ll call around and see if I can get it for you Yuri.” Thanking Yakov, Yuri really appreciated it.  Feeling his phone going off in his pocket he stood to grab it and see who it was.

            Answering it seeing it was his mother he knew she had to have seen what happened. After explaining everything to her again he felt himself start breaking down and crying again. He really needed to see Viktor.

            “I know he will be fine honey. He loves you and he won’t leave you like this.”

            “I know mom…I know.”

            “How are you? Are you alone? Mari and I can fly out if you need me.”

            “Thanks mom but I need to know what’s going on first. Yuri and Viktor’s coach are here with me as is my friend Phichit.”

            “I love you sweetie. If you need anything call me. Please. I wish I could be there for you.”

            “Thanks mom.”

            “Yuri! We contacted Seung-gil he is on his way now.” Thanking them he told his mother he would call her back when he was able.

            It felt like forever before he got there and when he did he still wasn’t able to get any information for Yuri on how Viktor was doing.

            “Was he sick?”

            Shaking his head in response to Seung-gil’s question he sat back down and took the water Phichit bought for him.

            “I would never have allowed here to come here if he was. And the last time he saw a doctor he was told he was fine. I don’t understand what happened. Unless. Oh god. I did this to him.” Starting to cry again he felt his friend tell him that wasn’t true at all as he rubbed his back. But, how could it not be? Viktor was trying to do too much at once. If he had been taking it easier he would have taken better care of himself.

            “Vitya is an idiot but he knows when something isn’t right with himself. I doubt you caused this Yuri. And I doubt he knew this was going to happen.”

            “Yuri?” Hearing his name they all sprang up to see a nurse near the waiting room doors looking for him. Thank god! Finally! Practically running over to her he asked how Viktor was and if he could see him only to see her face look confused. Right, it seemed no one here spoke English. Before he could say anything Seung-gil stepped in to speak with her. Waiting anxiously his heart sank even further at his words.

            “She said Viktor is in ICU right now. He is very weak. They will allow only family to see him.”  

            “I’m his fiancée. Only…I can’t talk to any of the nurses can you ask to join me to translate?” Looking back at Yakov and Yurio he turned back to Seung-gil. “Yakov and Yuri are family too. Let the three of us see him.” As he told this to the nurse he went to Phichit and told him what he learned.

            “Go be with your fiancée Yuri. I will wait here.”

            “I am sorry.”

            “Don’t be. He needs you.”

            Giving his friend a tight hug he thanked him for everything. Going back to Seung-gil he was told she would allow it but they couldn’t stay long. It was horrible but it would have to do for now.

            Coming to Viktor’s room Yuri’s heart was already pounding in his chest. The main reason he asked for the other’s to join him was he didn’t think he could handle seeing him alone. Yes, Viktor was the man he loved but to see him in such a state was more than he could handle. Going in first Yakov and Yuri followed right behind. Seung-gil said he would stay outside the door so if they needed him he would be able to help. To the nurses Yakov was Viktor’s father and Yuri was his younger brother. They all looked nothing alike so if they questioned it they were going to say he was adopted.

            “Oh god.” Covering his mouth with his hands, Yuri felt his heart stop. The man he loved looked so frail, how could this be the same man he was with earlier? Slowly going next to him he gently took his hand.

            “Viktor. I am here.” He knew he wasn’t going to answer. The nurse told them on their way up that he would probably need surgery to fix what that caused his heart to enlarge and cause his cardiac arrest he was too weak to do anything right now though. To help him recover faster and safer they were keeping him in an induced coma for the next day or so. They couldn’t keep him in it long but it would help them get him the medical attention he needed. He also learned that his heart had stopped once more while they were trying to stabilize him and get him hooked up and tested to see what was causing this to happen. From this though they had no idea the damage it could have done to him and his mind. Yuri didn’t want to believe he lost the man he loved but the fear was there. Viktor could wake up and not know a thing, or he could become brain dead.

            “I love you so much Viktor. Please. Please keep fighting for me okay. You are going to get better and we are going to go home and be a family and get married and move back to Japan. You can’t give up yet.” Putting his head on Viktor’s arm he cried on it so worried for their future. Slowly looking up at him he saw the heart monitors connected to his chest, the lines for the IV’s and nutrients going into his hand, the breathing mask covering his beautiful face. Following the cables to the monitors he saw the heart rate showing it was beating. According to the nurse it was slow but it was getting stronger little by little. They had to make sure it didn’t stop again though because they didn’t think they would be able to keep reviving it. Feeling a hand squeeze his shoulder he looked up to see Yurio behind him. He didn’t have to say a word, the thought alone was enough.

            Letting Yurio and Yakov talk to Viktor Yuri stepped out to talk to a nurse. Make sure they had a way to contact him for anything.

            “You are Yuri?” At the broken English he nodded at the nurse that came up alongside the one he was speaking to with Seung-gil. “Mr. Nikiforov spoke your name a few times before he was sedated.”           

            “He was? He wasn’t in pain was he?” To know he was being asked for and he couldn’t go to him broke his heart. He almost wished she didn’t tell him.          

            “No sir. The name would just fall from his lips.” Taking a breath he felt a little better than. He still wished he could have been there for him but to know he was just asking for him was better than needing him from what was going on. Seeing the guys leave the room Yuri understood the look they were giving. They were ready to go. Thanking the nurse for their help they headed back down to the waiting room on their own.

            Finding Phichit on his phone Yuri saw him look up when they entered.

            “How he is?” On his feet he meet Yuri halfway. Filling his friend in he was stopped as he saw Celestino, Christophe and his coach come into the room.

            “Yuri!” At Chris’s voice he got a tight hug from him before he was asked about Viktor.

            “He is in Intensive care Christophe so no one but myself or Yakov can go see him.”

            “What the hell happened to him? He was fine before the competition.”

            “Doctor said he has an enlarged heart. From what the tests show it was from heart failure. We don’t know how long he had this issue but we know it was untreated so his heart finally gave out and he went into cardiac arrest. He is pretty weak from all of this happening. They were talking about testing and possibly surgery but he is too weak for any of it. If they tried to put him under the knife he wouldn’t survive it.” Shivering at the thought he felt Christophe put his arms around him again.

            “He will pull through. That man is too stubborn to just quit.”

            Leaving the hospital for the night Yuri thanked Seung-gil for everything. He was giving him his number in case he needed anything else before they parted ways. Getting ready to get a taxi to head back to his hotel he felt someone grab his arm.

            “Yuri. Are you going to be okay?” At Phichit’s question he nodded and forced a small smile on his face.

            “I’ll be fine. Thank you though.”

            “Are you sure? I don’t mind spending the night. I know you are worried and I want you to take care of yourself.”

            “I’m sure. Go back to the village and rest.” Giving his friend a hug he was told to call him if he needed anything. Thanking him for that he let him go and got into the taxi.

            Sitting on the bed curled up with his arms hugging his knees he knew he should have let Phichit stay with him but he also just wanted to cry and be able to fall apart on his own. He was so worried about Viktor he wished there was something he could do. He wanted to get him home so they could get rid of the language barrier and he could rest better but he was too weak to travel. Taking his glasses off he cried on his knees so scared about the future. He was trying to stay positive but it was so hard to do when it felt like the world was crumbling around you. This was his fault, he pushed Viktor so hard. If he hadn’t pushed him to come back, to do the Olympics none of this would have happened. The man he loved wouldn’t be fighting for his life.

            Wiping his eyes after a little while he called his mother to tell her everything. Seeing their friends and family in the background he hoped Viktor knew how much he was loved by all of them.

            “Are you sure you’ll be alright Yuri?”

            “I am mother. It’s nothing personal it’s just, I am struggling with the language myself and I don’t have it in me to try and help anyone else get by.”

            “I understand. What is your plan for now?”

            “I want to get Viktor home and to the doctors there but he is too weak to move. Hopefully in a few days or so they can transport him to Russia. If we can do that you can fly out then.”

            “Alright honey. Please Yuri. Call me if you need anything at any time of day. We love you both so much.”

            “I know mom, thanks. And tell everyone them being here for us means a lot.” Hearing them shout they loved them through the phone made the corner of his mouth lift. Hanging up with her he slowly got off the bed to wash his face and attempt to pull himself together. He was acting like he lost him but he was still alive, he was very sick but he was breathing.

            Just coming out of the bathroom he stopped as he heard a knock on the door. Opening it just a little he saw Yuri and his grandfather just outside. Letting them in he was curious as to why they were here. He knew Yuri was good friends with Viktor but they only met his grandfather once before.

            “Yurochka told me what happened.” It was strange to hear his friend’s name this way but it seemed fitting for him.

            “Thank you for the concern. Just trying to stay positive. I know everyone is right and he will pull through.”

            “Will you need help getting him home?”

            “No we should be fi…” Stopping as the thought hit his mind he realized the truth of his plan. Viktor never combined their money into one. Being his money had been in Russian banks he never switched it once they moved back and once he moved out they got so focused on getting ready for Nationals Viktor never put him on the account. He had a debit card but there wasn’t a lot on it most days. It was just a small account to break up the large one. There was maybe a thousand on it at a time which covered small bills, food shopping and their competition expenses. In fact he didn’t think there was lot on it right now.

            “Yuri?” Hearing his younger Russian friend he looked at him and the confused face he was making.

            “Viktor has plenty to get home but the issue is just that. He has it.” What was he going to do? And if Viktor didn’t recover fast enough he would have his bills piling up that he couldn’t pay.

            “You guys don’t have one account?”

            “We talked about it but it we were too busy to worry about it. We never expected this.”

            “I’m sure your friends will come together and help you anyway you need. I offer my assistance to you as well. Viktor has always looked out for my grandson and I am indebted to him for that.” Hearing Yurio mumble something as he looked away Yuri smiled. They really did have amazing people in their life.

            At his stomach growling Yuri saw he was being watched by the other two.

            “That is actually why we came here. We were going to get food and wanted to know if you wanted to join us?”

            “Oh. I don’t want to intrude.” Not being allowed to say no he was thrown his coat.

            “Get your shoes on. I am surprised I didn’t find you crying in the corner but you still need to eat.” Appreciating the consideration in the good old Yurio fashion he got his things together and left with the others.

            Coming back to the room after dinner Yurio hung out with him for a little bit. It seemed he wasn’t going back to the village because he would be bored with no one in the room with him. Yuri figured it was his way of saying he missed Viktor right now but wasn’t going to tease him. Turning the tv on for background noise they saw it was the news and it was replaying what happened earlier. Having the remote taken from his hands Yurio turned it off as they saw Viktor collapse.

            “I’m sure it will be all over the papers to.” Yurio had a point. Yuri felt bad for Viktor, he loved attention but this was too much. The man was sick and should be left to heal. Not have the news talk about what came next for him, was this the end of the legend? This was too much for anyone.

            “Can I ask you something? Did you want to be like Viktor or just beat him?”

            “Why should I tell you?”

            “You don’t. I was just curious. He told me that you were always challenging him and you hated the fact that I was done.”

            “Viktor acts like he is some skating god. He can do anything he wants, women love him, a lot of new skaters try to be like him but isn’t all that great.”

            “Oh?”

            “He makes it look easy. He slacks off, drinks, and doesn’t listen to anyone. I just wanted to knock him down a few pegs. When I was younger I really admired him. I didn’t want to become him but I wanted to learn from him. Then I got older and I realized he didn’t care.”

            “Can I say something to that? It’s alright if he is your idol. Listen to me and hopefully I can explain. Yakov knows Viktor is a champion. He gets win after win. Viktor was going to retire though and then that left you. You had to carry on the winning streak Viktor started. I’m not saying Yakov is or was using you but we could all see this transformation inside of you. You aren’t Vikor, you are yourself but well…when I saw your Grand Prix piece I saw him in you. I think Yakov saw it too, as did Viktor. And, long hair looks good at you.” He teased as hinted towards the almost shoulder length hair. “There is nothing wrong with looking up to your big brother.” Getting scoffed at Yuri smiled before yawning.

            “Would you like to stay here for the night? This king bed is huge.”

            “You aren’t going to try and spoon me are you?”

            “No. I promise I won’t be near you. I’m tired but I probably won’t sleep anyway. I’ll be too busy subconsciously listening for my phone.”

            “My grandfather is asleep anyway and forgot to take his room key so I might as well.” Watching Yurio get off the bed to get ready for the night Yuri took his glasses off and put them next to his phone on the nightstand.

            “If you want, on top of my suitcase is an extra sleep shirt.” Yawing, he curled up under the covers and shut his eyes. “Night Yuri.”

            “Night…Yuri.” At hearing his young friend say his name he smiled and shut his eyes. Tomorrow would be a better day and he was confident Viktor would be doing better.

            After getting dressed and eating breakfast Yuri met with the others to head to the hospital. They had already been told they couldn’t see Viktor because the less people he came in contact with the safer it would be for him. Still, they wanted to be there in case anything changed, they woke him up, whatever. Even if they couldn’t see him right away if he came out of ICU he would feel better. It would make things seem less touch and go. The Olympics were still under way and the men had practice but no one cared to be there. They told Yuri they would rather stay here. The free skate wasn’t for another two days anyway.

            Looking up from his magazine that he was flipping through for the pictures Yuri saw everyone around him. He hoped Viktor could feel this, this love and energy they were sending. He hoped he was recovering with it.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

 **Disclaimer-** I own nothing!

            It was dark, dark and lonely and he wanted out. Was this death? Did he end up in hell? He must have because a world without Yuri was no heaven. Was the one he cared most for crying? He heard him talking to him. Saying things like, “you can’t leave me.” And “you have to keep fighting.” All he wanted to do was be with him, hold him, take of him and love him forever so why was he trapped in darkness? Hearing more voices he tried to scream to them to wake him, to tell Yuri he would never leave him but he couldn’t. In this void there was no voice, no sound, no anything. It was just dark and depressing. He could only hear everything but he couldn’t open his eyes. Perhaps this was his fate. He had always been told he was unlovable and maybe this was the result of that. He had finally found something he wanted to hold on to forever but now it was out of reach.

“…Yuri…” Stopping, he realized he heard that. He heard those words he had spoken. Slowing getting a reaction from his body his ears picked up a language he didn’t understand. What was going on? Where was he?

            “…Yuri…” At the mumbled name he felt his fingers slowly lifting in the air hoping someone would take them. He didn’t want to be alone anymore.

            “Viktor, can you hear me?” Hearing a broken English Viktor tried to get his mind to open his eyes. Just getting them open he closed them again as the room was too bright. Slowly opening them again he saw the mask on his face, heard the beeping in the room, felt the wires in his hand. What had happened? Last he remembered was being on the ice. And where was Yuri?

            “…Yuri…” his mouth was so dry and his mind was spinning. Looking back at the one that had spoken to him he noticed it was a woman in white. Where was his fiancée?

            “A nurse is getting him for you. How are you feeling?”

            Trying to get his eyes to stay open he kept feeling waves crash over him. When did he get on a boat? Hearing more of the language he didn’t understand he closed his eyes again.

            Moving a little in the bed, Viktor felt a hand squeeze his before his eyes opened a bit. He felt horrible, as if he was hit by something, and his throat felt dry. Trying to move he realized his whole body felt weak.

            “Viktor?” That voice, he knew that voice. That was the one he had been dreaming for in the darkness. Forcing his eyes to focus off of the mask he was wearing and to the voice he saw him and smiled.

            “Yuri…”

            “Oh my god Viktor! You are awake! Thank god!” Feeling him move closer to hug him he tried to get his arms to hug him back. He missed him more than he could say. There was just no strength in his body to do anything. “They told me they were going to take you out of the coma and then you started saying my name but when I got to the room you were out again.”

            What was Yuri talking about? What coma? He wished he could ask him. He wanted to kiss him as well. Seeing him pull away he saw his eyes looked tired and puffy. What did he do to the man he loved?

            “What…happened?” Doing his best at talking he really needed something for his throat. He needed to be told what was going on though.

            “Well…” Watching as the one he loved moved back a bit and rejoin their hands he refused to take his eyes off their face. “We are at a hospital in South Korea. After your short program the other day you…you went into cardiac arrest on the ice. I thought…I was so scared I was going to lose you. Your heart kept stopping and…and…” Witnessing the love of his life start crying he wished he could comfort him. He wanted to wipe away his tears and hold him. Tugging at their still joined hands he noticed Yuri got want he wanted him to do as he moved back to hug him.

            “I’m…sorry…” Wondering why his body was still struggling to do something so simple like breathe and speak he was grateful he at least could. Even if it was hushed and breathless. “I love you…never meant to worry you…”

            “It’s okay…I’m just…I’m just happy you are getting better. I love you so much Viktor.”

            Not happy with the idea that Yuri had to leave while the nurses came back to check on him he saw he was watching him from the hallway. At least he got to see him again. After being in the darkness for so long he hated to lose him. Being helped to sit up a bit he heard them speaking Korean. He had no idea what they were saying.

            “We are going to move you into a room Mr. Nikiforov.” Where was he now then? This wasn’t some hallway. “The doctor will see you once we do.” Nodding at the nurse he saw them speak to Yuri who said something to them before coming back in the room. Asking him to clarify what she said he felt Yuri retake his hand before running his other one through his hair. He felt awful he put him through so much. He never meant for this to happen.

            “You are in ICU because of how weak you are. Your heart is very weak right now but you are awake and talking to me and they are talking about moving you so you must be doing better.” Reaching for Yuri’s face he tried to wipe his tears. He didn’t want him to cry anymore over him.

            It wasn’t that long before someone came to get him and move him to another room. He was alone in this one but he still had so many wires hooked up to him. The only good thing was he still had Yuri beside him and they took the oxygen mask off of him and gave him tubes for his nose instead. Squinting at the poster on the wall he tried to read what it said but the English printing was so small.

            “It says this is the heart floor and it has state of the art equipment for monitoring and testing.”  Nodding, he looked around the room wishing he wasn’t here anymore. He had never been a fan of hospitals and being at one in a language he didn’t speak wasn’t making him happy. Yuri had filled him in on what the doctor’s needed to do but how they had to wait until he was stronger. Honestly, this whole thing scared him. He had never had health issues such as this before and to know his heart had been so sick it stopped working upset him greatly. Trying to get his mind off of all the beeping he was hearing and Yuri had gone back to watching their hands, he gave them the best squeeze he could for his attention.

            “TV?”

            “Hmm? You want it on? Sure Viktor.” Looking for the remote he saw Yuri turn it on. He knew he wouldn’t understand anything but he was hoping to find something at least that he would be interested in. If he stayed in the silence he would lose his mind. He didn’t want to focus on the idea that he could just die at any moment. Having him stop at the channel that was showing the Olympics he saw the women’s free skate was just ending. They were doing the medal ceremony.

            “This works.” He didn’t have to know the language to understand what the skaters were doing.

            “You want to watch this? Are you sure? I can find something else.”

            Shaking his head he reached for Yuri’s hand so he could put the remote down.

            “Yuri…I’m done aren’t I?”

            “With skating? Probably. I am struggling to understand what they are saying but if your heart is as bad as they say I don’t see you going back on the ice.” Resting his head back against the pillow he felt the pit of his stomach drop even lower. He didn’t want to think he would always be gone from the ice now but the fear was there. If he wasn’t lucky he might not be able to teach even the basics at Ice Castle. Knowing this wasn’t the time to think about such things he let it go.

            During the commercial break he looked over everything he was hooked up to. Trying to get his arms to work with him he really wished it didn’t feel like they had weights on them.

            “This one is the normal heart monitor. This is the IV that hydrates you, I think this one is giving you baby aspirin. They are really worried about you having a heart attack. Umm…This one is monitoring the pumps of your heart I think they said. No…I can’t remember but it was heart related.” Yuri pointed out as he saw him looking at all of them.

            “What is this one?” Carefully trying to lift one of the ones hooked up to his chest he saw Yuri frown.

            “That is sending electric pulses to your heart. You don’t have a pacemaker but according to the doctor your heart is having trouble pumping right so when it stops you get a little shock.”

            “Have I needed it?”

            “I…I haven’t wanted to ask.” Seeing him look down ashamed he reached for Yuri’s hand again. “I am surprised they took you out of ICU so quickly after waking you up. I mean I am happy because they wouldn’t let me see you but considering everything. I guess they needed the room though.”

            “I like this floor better anyway.” Coughing, he saw Yuri’s face pale. Once he could he tried to apologize for worrying him. “My throat is really dry. Talking hurts.”

            “I will get you water. I’ll be right back.” Before he could say anything, even not to rush, Yuri was up and out of the room. He felt horribly for worrying him so much. He never wanted to put him through something like this.

            Hearing the TV, he put his focus back on that while he waited. Seeing the men’s lineup he saw his name was on the bottom and darkened. There was something written next to it which probably said he wasn’t competing. This sucked, all that hard work, all those hours wasted. He should have been there too.

            “I hate this language barrier. I can’t wait to get home.” Hearing Yuri come back in the room with a pitcher of water he was handed a cup only to have Yuri help him hold it and drink it because his hands were too weak to hold anything right now. Thanking him for the help he saw him put it down and smile. “No need to thank me. It’s what couples do.” Taking his hand Viktor stopped and looked back at the TV, he thought he heard his name.

            His mouth dropped as he saw the camera panning the crowd. Was that his name he was seeing on banners?

            “Everyone has been asking about you.”

            Watching as the camera showed Yakov on the screen he heard him tell the crowd he was awake and recovering a little more each day. The commenters were translating it but the crowd was cheering. Incredible. Feeling his eyes start to water he felt Yuri lean over to wipe them for him.

            “We all love you and want you better Viktor.” At Yuri’s whispered words he nodded and swore to everyone that supported them that he would. Taking another look at the TV he saw all the Russian flags everyone was holding, it was surreal. He never thought that many people would care if something happened to him.

            Watching their friends take to the ice after for their programs, he noticed they were all wearing a ribbon on some part of them, ankle, wrist, Phichit had it around his neck. Asking Yuri about it he saw him smile.

            “The guys are wearing it for you. I haven’t had a chance to tell them you are awake but they have been here when they didn’t have to be at practice. They wanted to do something to show that we all may be on different teams but we are still friends and the skating community is one.” Amazing. He never would have expected something like this to ever happen to him. He really had to think of a way to thank them once he was out of here.

            Finding it hard to stay awake Viktor felt Yuri squeeze his hand.

            “Go sleep Viktor. You need it.”

            “But…”Who was he kidding, he was so exhausted. “Are you heading back to the hotel soon?”

            “I figure I will stay until visiting hours are over.” Watching his lover smile Viktor hoped his lips were smiling back. Just shutting his eyes he heard footsteps and his name. Reopening his eyes he saw a doctor come in the room with a nurse who was taking his vitals. Sharing a look with Yuri he saw they shared the same thought, could they all talk with each other?

            “Hello Viktor. I am Doctor Kim. I am the head cardiologist here. I am also fluent in English as my mother was born and raised in America before moving back here for school where she met my father. I know the language has been an issue for you so I hope that helps.”

            “Not for me, my fiancée. I’ve been asleep for two days.” Trying to crack a joke he just saw Yuri give him a look before shaking the doctor’s hand.

            “Well. I don’t know much about your condition yet. I need to run a lot of tests. We know you have an enlarged heart. The fact that you lasted this long with it is amazing. Considering your profession the fact that you didn’t have complications before shocks me.”

            “He did have an issue last year. He saw a doctor for it though, he took a stress test and got a clean bill of health.” At Yuri’s words Viktor wasn’t surprised he brought it up.

            “Well. I doubt this wasn’t there. It might not have been as bad then but from what I see already this is serious. You are lucky we were able to revive you at all honestly.” Feeling Yuri squeeze his hand he tried to reassure him. Yuri went through enough he didn’t want to scare him more.

            “What happens now?” Really this was all he wanted to know. “Can I go back to Russia?”

            “Before I even think of transporting you I want to get an electrocardiogram done. Basically, I am testing the electrical activity of your heart. I also want to schedule you for a echocardiogram. This is a test that allows me to see the four heart chambers. We will start there and see what I can find. Once I have that information we can decide what is best.” Nodding, Viktor tried to take it all in. Things were really serious.

            Being alone for the night Viktor missed Yuri already. They watched the rest of the men’s free skate once the doctor left, Yurio won gold. Not that he was really surprised by that. Placing his hands on his lap he noticed his right hand wasn’t wearing his ring. He hadn’t taken it off since Yuri gave it to him as a birthday gift. His finger felt so empty without it. Did Yuri have it at least? He understood if he couldn’t wear it again he just wanted to make sure it was safe. Looking out the window he turned towards the door as the nurse from earlier came in to do her job.

            “Yuri is your fiancée?” At her question he smiled and watched her change his things.

            “Yes.”

            “When is the wedding?”

            “April.” Stopping, he hoped he would be better by then. He didn’t want to have to postpone it until a better date. He didn’t deserve Yuri but his love deserved the wedding they had planned.

            “He is good man. He has been worried about you since you arrived. Hasn’t left the waiting room.”

            “The best. I am extremely lucky to have him in my life.”

            Once she finished up he shut his eyes and fell asleep for the night. Tomorrow he was scheduled to start going for testing. He wanted this started so he could go home. Even if he was stuck in the hospital there if they went back Yuri could go home.

            In the morning it was then that Viktor realized how much he hated being here. He slept like crap always being poked and prodded. The food wasn’t all that great, especially since he was on a weird diet right now, he was hooked up to so many things getting comfortable to sleep was impossible, and he still had no Yuri. Just getting his hands to work and turn the TV on, Viktor heard voices in the hall that he knew. Looking towards the door he saw his love followed by his coach and rink mate.

            “You are up. Good morning Viktor.” Seeing Yuri’s wide smile and less puffy eyes made everything okay though. So long as he was happy he would handle all of this. Doing his best to reach for his hand and give him a kiss he was glad Yuri worked with him to sit on the bed the best he could.

            “Good morning love. Morning.” Nodding to the other two he saw they both looked relieved to see him. “Congratulations Yurio.”

            “Yea thanks.” Seeing him look away Viktor smiled.

            “It’s good to see you awake Vitya. How are you feeling?”

            “Thank you Yakov. I am sorry I worried everyone so much. If I had known my heart was having issues I wouldn’t have pushed myself so hard.” Leaning back on the bed he took a deep breath and shut his eyes for a moment. Hearing Yuri ask if he was alright he slowly reopened them and nodded. “I am fine. Just really exhausted. I slept horribly from always being woken up.”

            “You are healing as well so try not to push yourself. If you need sleep take it.” There was the love of his life being considerate as always. Before they could enjoy the company of everyone the doctor came back in and met the two new faces.

            “Morning Viktor. If you aren’t busy I will do the electrocardiogram. Only takes a few minutes and I can do it right here.”

            “I’m not going anywhere.” Watching Yuri roll his eyes again he saw him smile at least. Besides, it wasn’t like he had a choice. “Can Yuri stay for this?” He noticed the other two were going to step outside while it was done just to be out of the way.

            “Of course. This isn’t a complicated test.” Watching as the doctor moved a few cables and cords around a nurse came in to help him. Just what he needed, more things hooked up to his chest. “The last time you had this done was in the ambulance. They were also having trouble keeping it beating, which worries me.”

             It worried him too. If his heart wasn’t beating than he was in serious trouble. He wasn’t sure what he could do to correct the problem and he didn’t want to spend the rest of his days here. Laying back all the way was uncomfortable bu the doctor told him it wasn’t going to take long. Noticing the silence in the room Viktor hoped it was standard practice to stare at the monitor while the test was being done.

            “Okay.” Having it disconnected the nurse helped move the bed back to a reclined position.

            “Is it bad?”

            “Viktor…Yuri...right away I noticed you have an irregular heart beat as it is slower than what is normal for an average adult male. This test tells me the strength of the electrical impulses that are generated from the upper right chamber. That showed it was weak as well. I also don’t want to alarm you but the way things are right now you are at a very high risk for a heart attack.”

            “Viktor…”

            “So…what happens next?” Hearing Yuri’s fears he moved his hand a bit for him to come over and take it. Use it as a reassurance that he was here right now and going to stay that way.

            “I want to do the other test today once the room is open and then if my assumption is correct get you scheduled for surgery. I know you want to go back but the way you are now it’s too risky. If your valves aren’t working right surgery is the only way I can go in and fix it. Something to also think about. Because of the condition of your heart you may need a pacemaker.”

            Looking down at himself Viktor tried to remember to breath and think that the positive was that he would still be with Yuri. They could still get married, have a peaceful life, maybe even adopt a child or two. But still, a pacemaker. He was an active guy. He took care of himself, he ate right none of this should be happening.

            Filling the others in with what the doctor said they all waited for someone to tell him he was being taken to the other test. Neither of them had said anything once he told them.

            “Yuri, love. Do you mind getting me more water? I forgot to ask the nurse when she was here.”

            “Hmmm? Water? Sure. Be right back.” Watching him get up, take the pitcher and leave he saw Yurio offer to tag along.

            “Vitya.”

            “There is nothing you can say Yakov to make any of this better. I could have a heart attack at any moment, my heart is barely beating, I feel so weak because it is just working hard enough to keep me alive…” Feeling his eyes water he got his hand up to cover his face. This was why he wanted Yuri to leave a moment. He just needed time to fall apart. In a matter of minutes his whole world crashed down around him. He didn’t want Yuri to see him like this. Feeling a hand on his shoulder he tried to pull himself together. Wiping his eyes he took the tissue being offered to him.

            “Things seem bad you are looking better than you were.”

            “Hmm?”

            “We saw you in ICU and you looked horrible. Tubes in your mouth, oxygen, wires, monitors. Now you are sitting up, talking, eating. This isn’t your best but it’s not your worst. You want to marry that boy don’t you?”

            “Of course I do.” It was just, how could he do anything after all of this? Would Yuri live the rest of their days in fear thinking something could happen at any time?

            “Get better now so you can have that life. This isn’t the time to give up.”

            Nodding, he tried to look on the bright side, he wasn’t dead.

            “Can I ask a favor of you Yakov? Can you look after Yuri for me while I am here? Make sure he eats and doesn’t stress too much.”

            “You don’t have to worry about that. Yuri is looking out for him.”

            Looking up at him he saw Yakov smirking. “Well…I am surprised by that.” But, Yurio has always cared he just had a poor way of showing it. Speaking of, hearing the two come back in the room he thanked his fiancée and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

            “You look exhausted. Sleep if you need to.”

            Shaking his head he just took Yuri’s hand and had him sit on the bed with him again.

            “Just sit with me a while. I am okay.”

            Keeping their hands together they all sat around talking before he even realized he shut his eyes.

 


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

 **Disclaimer-** I own nothing!

            He couldn’t take it anymore. He hated feeling weak, not knowing what anyone was saying, only getting the doctor to tell him more bad news. He had had it. He was willing to just pull the plug on everything he was hooked up too and let fate run its course.

            Opening his eyes he froze and stared at the man he loved. Watching as he stood there with wide eyes Viktor felt Yuri grab his hands. He was the only reason he was trying, the reason he was still here.

            “Viktor…”

            Gently pulling his hand closer he got his whole body to come closer. “Did I scare you?”

            “Are you alright? Having a bad dream?”

            “Maybe.” Not wanting to tell him the truth Viktor had him sit on the bed. “I want to go home.”

            “I know you do.” The doctor wouldn’t let him go home until after the surgery but that meant weeks of recovery time.

            “Yuri.”

            “Forget it Viktor. I am not going back without you. I would hate being alone out there as it is and you are already depressed enough from being stuck in bed I can only imagine what my not being here would do to you.”

            “It’s just. The Olympics are over. Makkachin needs to be picked up. I don’t when they will get me in for surgery and we both know I will be trapped here for weeks as I heal. Look. I get why you want to stay but it’s not logical. We have a life to get back to in Russia.”

            “Yurio has Makkachin. You know this. He told you this the other week before he left. I asked Yakov to send me the phone numbers of all the bills we have and I put some on hold and paid what I had to. I don’t mind staying here until we can go home together.”

            “I know the account you use is running low though and I can’t transfer money from here.” He had tried to do so the other week when Yuri told him about the money issue he was facing. Right now the hotel he was staying at was on their credit card but they still had bills that had to be paid. “Don’t be stupid and go home! Us going back together will never happen and you know it! You are waiting around for things that will never happen! I am going to die under that knife!” Watching Yuri recoil back Viktor bit his tongue and stopped. What did he just do? “Yuri…” Hearing him say nothing he saw him step back and walk out of the room. Shit. “Yuri!”

            That was it. He had it here. He needed to run after his fiancée and apologize and he couldn’t. He couldn’t do anything. He was tired of being a burden to everyone. This wasn’t who he was at all. Using all his willpower he got his hands to move the covers that did nothing for him anyway as he was still always freezing. Carefully getting his legs down off the bed he knew his body could do this. Even in it weaker state he was stronger than this. Holding the pole that held all of his IV’s he held on tightly to it and stood up. He needed to apologize to Yuri. He needed to show everyone he was strong enough to go home. Feeling the pull of wires on his chest he took his right hand off the pole and ripped them off. He was tired of them always stopping him from doing anything. He didn’t want to rely on them to keep him alive, this was no life. Taking it one step at a time, keeping Yuri at the focus of his mind, he headed to the door. Just getting to the frame he saw nurses come running into the room. Feeling his chest start to hurt he struggled against them to let him go. He had to get to Yuri, he had to apologize, he…he would do anything.

            “Please…” As his eyes started to fill with tears from the pain in his chest and from being brought back to bed he tried to get them to understand.

            “Viktor!!” At that voice he managed to look over a nurse’s shoulder and saw he had run in terrified to find the worst. “What are you doing? What is going on?”

            “Yuri!” Stopping as the pain became too much he could feel his body unable to keep its strength. His heart wasn’t strong enough for this. Trying to keep his eyes open he knew his body was shutting down. Was this from the nurses or from himself, before he could ask that question his eyes shut.

            Coming to, Viktor felt a hand in his. That hand was shaking. Trying to adjust himself in the bed he felt the wires back on his chest. Going to sit up he stopped and felt his body want to panic as he couldn’t move.

            “It’s alright Viktor, calm down. Relax. Please.”

            Looking up he saw Yuri watching him, their hands were laced together.

            “Yuri. You are shaking.” Feeling his hands still shaking from the other he went to try and sit up, possibly hold him, do something to help him stop only to notice he couldn’t.

            “The doctor told the nurses to restrain you. So you don’t try to do that again. What were you thinking? I mean. You aren’t well and they are trying to help you and you decide to just leave. Talk to me Viktor. What is going on with you?”

            “I just…I felt bad that you walked out after I upset you. I love you and I just feel like I’m tying you down Yuri. You have a life you should be living”

            “So you decided that killing yourself was a good idea?! I don’t want to lose you Viktor! I…”Watching as the man he loved broke down and cried on his hands he realized what he had been doing to him. He felt awful for this and he hated that he could do nothing for him. “Do you have any idea how worried I was? I go down the hall to give us both space and the next thing I know they are paging for a code red because you stopped being read on the monitors. I thought your heart gave out. I feared…I don’t…you can’t…” With each fallen tear Viktor only felt worse. He never meant to do any of this to him.

            Wishing he could hold him, Viktor took a breath and tried to do the next best thing. He could explain himself, he could apologize.

            “Yuri…I know it’s asking a lot but please, please forgive me. I know it’s just words but I feel awful for making you worry. I never meant to do that to you. I just…I needed to go after you. I wanted to apologize for what I said. I wanted to show that I am not as weak as they say. I never in a million years would make you worry about me so much. That was never my intention.” Seeing him nod and wipe his eyes a bit their eyes met for a moment. “I love you Yuri. With all my heart. You’re the only reason I am still here. I know I wouldn’t have fought so much if I didn’t have you.”

            “I love you too. Promise me you won’t try that again.”

            “You have my word.” Tugging their hands the best he could he got Yuri on his feet to lean over and kiss him. It was an awkward kiss because of everything he was hooked up to but it was still a kiss.

            Staying silent for a bit they just sat together, their hands being held. A nurse came in, checked on him, changed things, told him food would be here shortly, and let them alone. Being tied to the bed wasn’t fun at all and only made getting comfortable even harder. Sadly, the nurse said she wasn’t allowed to do anything until the doctor gave the okay. He wasn’t some crazed psycho he was just a man at the end of his rope from being stuck in a room all day.

            “Did they tell you what caused my chest to hurt so much?” Asking, he saw Yuri come out of his own mind and watch him.

            “Oh. Yea. They said it was angina. I looked into a bit and it told me it’s when there is reduced blood flow to the heart.”

            “Not a heart attack?”

Seeing the man he loved smile and kiss their hands he heard, “No. Not a heart attack.”

Getting dinner was laughable. Yea it was here but he was still tied so it wasn’t like he could eat it. The nurse was going to undo it but Yuri had to butt in and say he could just feed him. Did he not trust him then? Still, he was going to think of it as good excuse to be romantic. Opening his mouth he made Yuri to smile as he was fed. He may be really sick, he may die at any moment if he wasn’t careful but just spending this time with the one hecloved, the one that stayed by his side was worth fighting for.

Waking up to the nurse doing her thing he realized he felt even worse than he did before. Yesterday couldn’t have hurt him this much could it? Yawning, he let her finish up than shut his eyes for the rest of the night. Perhaps he just felt bad from waking up early. Feeling sun in his face he wasn’t up long before he heard talking coming towards his room. Seeing Yuri talking to the doctor he frowned as he saw Yuri just stop.

“Viktor…you look horrible.”

“I feel pretty crappy too.” Struggling to get comfortable he watched as Yuri came over and took his hand before kissing his forehead.

“You look pale.” Not saying anything he saw the doctor going over his reading from the night and at this moment. Reading a look that said he wasn’t too happy with things right now Viktor waited for the more bad news. Every time he saw a doctor he got bad news.

“Do you feel any pressure around your heart, any rapid beating?”

“No. I am just really tired and I feel even weaker than I did before.” He knew this wasn’t good. The goal was to get stronger for surgery not weaker. At this rate he would never go home. Sitting up, the doctor undid what he was tied to and sat patiently while he did what he had to too figure out what was going on.

“I am going to have you go for a transesophageal echocardiogram, I will be sticking a transducer on a tube that will go down the digestive tract to get a better look of what is going on. Not even mentioning that stunt you pulled yesterday you shouldn’t be in the shape you are in right now. Are you having trouble breathing too?”

Not really paying attention to what his lungs were doing he took a second to hone in on his body. Realizing his lungs weren’t taking full breaths and he felt like he was wheezing he nodded.

“You may have a fluid buildup. If you do, a simple procedure will remove it. But I really need to figure out what is causing this. The way you are now though I can’t sedate you. Your heart won’t survive the strain. And I won’t sugar coat it for you Viktor if I do any surgery on you it will be an open heart which can lead to a heart attack.”

“And the chances of it happening while I am under?”

“Would be high.”

“But, we don’t know what the issue is yet right? I mean there is still a chance he won’t need it.” Hearing Yuri’s optimism Viktor stroked the back of his fiancées hand.

“Can you give us a minute doctor? I just want to discuss everything with Yuri.”

“Of course. I’ll get you checked in for the test.” Being left alone he had Yuri sit on the bed with him.

“You will be fine Viktor. I know you will.”

Not saying a word he just continued to stroke the hand he held.

            “I refuse to let you go Viktor. I love you and I know you will overcome this.”

            “Remember when you were hurt and you lost all hope of ever having a future with me? We used to fight all the time about it. You knew you needed surgery and the risk of being paralyzed was so great for you that you asked if I would still love you.”

            “Of course I do but this is much greater than that. I know what the stakes are for you Viktor. But, look at me. I want you to know something. No matter happens I will always love you do you understand me.”

            “And I’ll always love you. Yuri. My point is that the doctor and I both realized something before. There is a good chance I will die. I…I accept that as my fate but know that doesn’t mean I give up. I love you. I want to see you walk down the aisle to me and be my husband. I want you to have a life of happiness with me. I…I want you to know that I love you. And, how scared I am.” Unable to keep it together as he saw their joined hands, the ring on his fiancées finger, saw what they wanted out of this life he dropped his walls and let himself cry.

            Being pulled as close as he could to the one he loved, they both cried on each other. For the first time since the Olympics they let the other know just how scared they were.

            “I keep fighting because I have you in my life Yuri.”

            The crying, the fear, the stress of the future did nothing for him but he felt better telling Yuri the truth. As he was taken down the hall for this test to check for fluid around his heart he kept Yuri on the front of his mind. He wanted to show death and his fear that while he was scared of it he wasn’t ready to give into it.

            Coming back to the room he had good news, which was no fluid, and bad news, his heart was just having trouble functioning on its own. But, after talking to the doctor they were going to schedule him for surgery. The test showed he needed open heart surgery but the doctor made a deal with him. If he could get his numbers in a safe range in the next few days and keep them there he would transport him to a Russian hospital near their home. He would do it. He had to, for both him and Yuri, he had to get them home. Telling Yuri all of this he saw his love pale but smile.

            Keeping Yuri’s hand in his, they smiled at each other as they traveled to the airport. He didn’t want to tell Yuri this but the doctor signed off on him even thinking about going home because he knew that if he passed away Yuri would have to try to get his body back to Russia. He would be grief stricken and alone in this country, it wouldn’t be fair to him. Once he was settled there he was going to take care of the financial end of things so Yuri would be well off. He didn’t want him to think it was his way of saying goodbye but he just didn’t want Yuri to have to worry about money if recovery took longer.

            Sleeping most of the flight he wasn’t happy to wake up in the hospital but he was happy to see Yurio and Yakov again. Checking up with them and speaking his native tongue was so nice.

            “The surgery is tomorrow?”

            “Yes, I can’t really go much longer without it. My heart is struggling to keep me going so before I really get too weak for it.” Answering Yakov’s question he kept Yuri close. He looked happy to be back. It would be nice to know that he would get to sleep in their bed tonight with Makkachin instead of the bed at the hotel. He had taken care of what he said he would, though the simple process to get money to Yuri was a struggle. He had to call them while Yuri was at the bank and have a doctor’s note faxed over saying he was bed ridden and unable to sign Yuri onto the account in person. Just knowing it was taken care of though was a huge relief. Yuri hadn’t told him how strapped for cash he was until after they left South Korea. Once they got to this hospital he wanted him to go home and do food shopping and what not just so he wouldn’t be cooped up here. It was then that he heard Yuri ask Yakov if he could borrow some money and would pay him right back in a day or two. Once he was feeling better they were going to have a serious talk about that. He didn’t care that he asked Yakov for help he was mad that Yuri thought it was better to starve himself than ask for a money transfer. He wasn’t hiding it from him, they just didn’t have time to add him to the main account.

            The day of the surgery he was terrified, absolutely terrified. Open heart surgery had a ton of risks but not even thinking about that he was scared of the recovery. The one thing he told Yuri not to do before his back surgery was look into it but he looked into this and the recovery was going to hurt. He would be ICU for a few days to start, he wouldn’t be able to talk, to eat, he would have a ventilator down his throat, he would more wires on his body. Then he would be in a normal room for a bit, if he stayed strong he would start some basic physical therapy and then eventually he would get to go home and do more months of physical therapy. There a good chance their wedding would have to be canceled and moved until after this was all over. The other thing he was thinking about was the pain he would be in. They were separating his rib cage to get to his heart and the valves and the doctors and all the information he read about online said he was going to be in extreme pain as it healed.

            Seeing Phichit and Christophe had flown out to see him before this and to apologize for only seeing him once after he was out of ICU before they went back to their home countries, he was grateful they were here. Yuri was just as nervous as he was for this and Phichit at the very least could be here for him.

            “Okay Mr. Nikiforov, we are ready for you.” Squeezing Yuri’s hand one last time they shared a kiss for strength and he was wheeled to the operating table. He got the best surgeon in Russia, he was in no better hands. He just had to hope his heart was strong enough for this. Yuri. It would be strong enough for him. Being put on the table he heard the nurses talking to him as he had the mask put over his mouth and his eyes slowly start to close. _*Yuri I love you.*_


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

 **Disclaimer-** I own nothing!

            Yuri sat in the waiting room holding the hand of his mother while he waited with their friends. He had told his mother Viktor was going in for surgery and she had hoped to see him before he went under but she wasn’t able to fly out any sooner. Still, her being here was great and he appreciated it so much. Having everyone around him he knew Viktor would do well in surgery and start to heal. They could get their life back together and focus on the future. They hadn’t talked about it but, he didn’t see their wedding happening in April. It was in three weeks, Viktor would be lucky if he was out of the hospital by then. Still, he wasn’t going to bring it up with him until after all this was over, knowing this was more important than that. The only problem was if they had to cancel it for a year they would lose a lot of money. They still had plenty of money in their account but if they weren’t careful it would dry up faster than they would like. He wasn’t allowed to work in Russia but if they went home he could work for his parents or something. Again, he would figure it all out later. Right now, his focus was Viktor. The man he loved was in for a very dangerous procedure and he just wanted to make sure it all went well. He loved him so much and he hoped Viktor remembered that.

            Needing to get up and stretch his legs he heard Phichit follow him. Leaving the others in the room, he took a drink order as an excuse to not stay there anymore. Viktor had been in surgery three hours already and they weren’t sure how long he would be in for. It took time to get to the heart and then repair it and finally close him back up. And that time didn’t include any complications. They were told three to four hours was the average but Viktor had a lot of issues. Still, knowing so much time had passed and they hadn’t heard anything was reassuring.

            “Holding up okay, Yuri?”

            “I think so. I am scared but I am doing okay. Thanks for being here Phichit. Having everyone around us these past few weeks has been great.”

            “Of course. You are my good friend and Viktor is a great guy. I wish there was more I could do for you both honestly.”

“Thanks. Just having the support is great though. How have things been since you got back? I know World’s is coming up soon. I hope you being here won’t hurt you guys.”

“Nah., We all decided to do this. We have a week to fly back before them so we will be fine.”

Going to the vending machine they got drinks for those that wanted and headed back. Just handing them out everyone froze as the door opened again and a nurse came in.

“Are you guys waiting for Viktor Nikiforov?” Hearing Viktor’s name, they nodded and Yuri stepped closer. Thinking about it there was only one other person in this room besides their party.

“Tell me. He is okay, right?” His own heart was beating a mile a minute. He needed to know that Viktor made it, that their life could slowly go back to what they knew. Feeling his mother come beside him and take his hand he knew she would have no idea what the nurse was saying, she just wanted to be there for him.

“The surgery went well. There were a few complications but everything seems to be okay. The surgeon has decided to but Mr. Nikiforov in the CICU for the time being as his heart was in poor shape before the operation. At this time, we are not allowing visitors but in an hour or so someone will come back and get only his family to see him.”

“Thank you so much. Please tell the doctors that too.” Taking a deep breathe he felt so much better. His fiancée was going to be alright. He made it through the surgery and was in recovery. He wasn’t in the complete clear as they had to make sure this solved the problem but it was a good start. Repeating this to everyone they all smiled and cheered. This was great news. Sitting back down he joked with Christophe while they waited for someone to get them. He felt as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Not even for himself but for Viktor. To know he was passed his biggest fear he couldn’t wait to see him.

Looking at the clock Yuri noticed they had been sitting here for two hours already and had seen no one. He knew they weren’t given a time they would get him but surely, they wouldn’t have to sit here another four hours before he got to see his love. Getting up he went to see if he could find a nurse when he saw one walk in.

“Are you with Mr. Nikiforov?” She asked with a smile.

“Yes. Yes, I am his fiancée. Please let me see him.”

“Yuri…” He knew that tone. She knew he was with him but he was going to have to fight to see the one he loved. “It isn’t that I don’t want to allow you, it’s just, the doctor has asked for a longer wait time.”

“Please. Let me tell him I am here. I know…I know he will be sedated still but…” He only needed a minute.

“…Alright…I will allow it just this once but you need to be quick alright?”

“Thank you so much.” Quickly telling his mother and the others that were close by, but not hovering, he was ready to see him. He felt bad that Yakov couldn’t see him too right now but the nurse said it was just for today. If Viktor did well tomorrow they would allow two family guests. They wouldn’t be long visits but it would be better than nothing.

Moving to another floor Yuri was led to the back and into the last room in the hallway. Seeing the nurse smile she let him go in.

“Please remember, be quick. He needs rest.”

“Of course.” Moving into the room Yuri moved the curtain that was around Viktor’s bed to give him privacy. He knew what to expect and he still wasn’t ready for it. Seeing the ventilator down his fiancées throat he knew that he would be on it for a few days at most. He also knew that there was risk that Viktor’s body wouldn’t handle being taken out from the ventilator. No, he would be alright. They would have their life together. Walking over to Viktor, he put his hand in his loves and gave it a little squeeze.

“You did it Viktor. You got through the surgery in one piece. I knew you would. I love you.” Wanting to kiss his forehead he knew it wasn’t a good idea as he was weak from the surgery. Running his fingers through Viktor’s hair he was happy he could do this. His love looked pale, he had more wires hooked up to him, monitoring and pumping things into his system but he was alive and that was all that mattered.

“I love you. I can’t stay long but I just wanted you to know that I am here and that I love you.” Staring at his lovers face a moment he saw his eyes slowly open and look at him. Taken aback by the movement he figured he would still be out from the anesthesia. Smiling at him he gave their hands a nice squeeze. “Hope I didn’t wake you. Get some rest. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Seeing the nurse at the curtain he went to her and told her he was awake. Going back to the others he noticed she stayed behind to make sure Viktor was doing alright now that he was waking up.

Coming back to the apartment for the night with everyone, he took Makkachin out for a bit and came home to see his mother cooking dinner for everyone. He had told her she didn’t have to but she insisted knowing he was dealing with a lot right now. Honestly though, he felt a million times better knowing Viktor had made it through the surgery in once piece. Once Viktor was more aware they were all going to talk about how this all happened. He knew they both had questions that weren’t really answered in South Korea. There was nothing wrong with their medical facility or their staff it was just from the language barrier they both felt lost. The doctor Viktor had did speak English but he was confusing and both of their minds were trying to translate it to language they knew easier. Personally, his mind kept translating it to Japanese which complicated everything. While even in Russia he was still translating everything, he seemed to process it easier. And he had Yurio and Yakov to further explain something he didn’t understand. Back in South Korea all he had was Viktor and he was too weak to pay attention most times. He was asked a few times by the other to clarify.

Their apartment really wasn’t big enough for everyone but having them around was nice. Makkachin was happy to have him back at least. He wouldn’t leave his side. It was obvious though he was confused as to why Viktor wasn’t here. Hopefully in a week or so he would be and they could all live together as a family.

“Yuri. I don’t want to seem rude but are you guys canceling the wedding now?”

At Christophe’s question, he could tell everyone was thinking it though no one wanted to ask.

“At this exact moment, no. We haven’t canceled anything and I don’t want to make that call until Viktor is alert again. Though, I doubt he will be strong enough to fly back to Japan. Unless something comes up I don’t want to decide anything. He is using the wedding as a reason to get better faster.”

“And you are okay financially?”

“Yes. Since I can access the money in his account now I can pay all our bills.”

“And what about his medical bills?”

“Well… I haven’t gotten any from Russia yet but I know he has a private insurance. They won’t cover his out of country bills but we should be alright to pay them little by little.”

“Glad you guys will be alright. If you need any help let me know okay?”

“Thanks Christophe. I know we both really appreciate the offer.”

After dinner, they all hung out a bit before Phichit and Christophe headed back to their hotel and Yurio and Yakov went back to where they were staying. Having the place to himself pretty much, he got comfortable before joining his mother back in the living room.

“I am sorry we don’t have a guest bedroom. If you want you can take the master bedroom and I can sleep out here.”

“Nonsense, this is fine Yuri.”

Sitting next to her he didn’t realize he put his head on her shoulder. He really missed her, missed her more than he thought. “I am really glad you could fly out.”

“I am too Yuri.” Staying as he was for a while they said nothing, he didn’t have to. Just having his mother close by when things were scary made them not seem so bad. He wasn’t homesick but he definitely missed seeing her.

Snapping his eyes open as he heard his cellphone going off he quickly reached for it blindly. Nearly dropping it he kept it in his hands and connected the call.

“Hello?”

“Dude why do you sound out of breath? Are you running?” Hearing the familiar voice of Yurio, Yuri reached for his glasses and noticed it was almost nine thirty in the morning. He slept in way later than he expected.

“Sorry. No. I just slept in. What’s up? Oh, wait are you all heading over already?”

“Yea. We told you yesterday we wanted to go over for ten.”

“Sorry. Sorry. I’ll be ready in ten minutes. I’ll meet you guys in the waiting room.” Hanging up, he jumped out of bed and rushed to get ready. Coming out of his room he saw his mother had made breakfast for him.

“You don’t have to cook all my meals mother.”

“I know but I want to. You have a lot going on. Did you sleep in?”

“I did. Yurio called me and woke me up.” Still, he sat down and properly ate what he was offered. He may be in a rush but he had manners. “Are you ready to go over with me?”

“Of course.” Watching her clean up while he finished up he felt bad she was doing any work at all. The idea of her flying out wasn’t so that she could do chores. It was so that Viktor had a motherly touch, and she really wanted to see him. Throwing his stuff in the sink for now he made sure Makkachin had enough food and water to last him and left the apartment.

Meeting up with the others they went to the nurse’s station knowing full well that they all weren’t going to get in. They just wanted to be with everyone else for right now. Asking about seeing Viktor, Yuri was surprised when they told him no. They weren’t allowing him visitors yet. Did they have to wait a full twenty-four hours? That seemed strange. Telling the head nurse they would be in the waiting room, they walked in and sat down to discuss possible reasons why. Yuri wasn’t used to how doctors in Russia did things so he wanted to know if this was standard.

“Perhaps this is because he is in CICU and not the regular ICU?” At Yakov’s words they all sat in silence to ponder over it a bit. “Viktor was in a weaker state before the operation and I don’t know much about what he went for but I know any type of open heart surgery can make you prone to illness. Perhaps they want to keep us out as a precaution while his immune system comes back up.”

“I want to see him but so long as he is okay and doesn’t feel I abandoned him I’m okay with that.” Yuri hadn’t told anyone this Viktor had been there for him during his darkest hour after he got hurt. He could have walked away, he could have gotten fed up, he could have ended things, but he didn’t. Viktor stayed and fought for their future. Now Yuri knew it was his turn. He wasn’t going to give up on, he was going to be there for him when he needed him the most. Even if he had to sit in the waiting room all day and wait until he was allowed to see him, so long as Viktor never forgot he was waiting for him he was happy.

“Yuri?” After lunch Yuri sat in the waiting room with everyone talking to Phichit when he heard his name. Looking up, he saw Viktor’s doctor in the doorway. He didn’t look like he had bad news so that was reassuring. Getting up, he met him a few steps in.

“Viktor? He is okay, right?”

“He is doing well. He is still on the ventilator but he is awake and his vitals are strong.” That was great to hear. He knew his love could do it. “I will allow you to see him. Also, if his parents are here we can have them come in after. This hospital has a strict two-person limit and no one is sick or has been sick recently, correct?”

“No. No one is sick. And…” Looking back at his mother and Yakov he debated lying. No, he needed to see what happened with the truth. “Viktor’s parents are out of the picture, Yakov is his acting father and his mother-in- law is here as well.”

“Hmm. If he wasn’t who he was none of this would be allowed.”

“Thank you sir.” Getting his mother, he followed the doctor to Viktor’s room asking how long he would be here. Finding out they hoped to move him out of the CICU tomorrow if he stayed strong made Yuri’s heart flutter. His man was doing so well.

Coming to his room Yuri let his mother go in first. Going in right before her he saw Viktor was awake and his wide eyes showed he was surprised to see her. Standing next to her, Yuri saw his eyes looked shiny. What a wonderful thing to see.

“Hi Viktor. I won’t stay long, I know you want to see your fiancée more. I just wanted to let you know I am here for you.” Watching her kiss his forehead he thought he saw Viktor’s eyes twinkle a bit, his man was so cute even when sick.” Giving her a minute he watched her squeeze Viktor’s hand and tell him not to worry about a thing except to get better. One more squeeze and she left to go back to the others. Taking over for his mother he retook Viktor’s hand.

“Hi love. Sorry I haven’t been here sooner. The doctor wanted to wait a while for some reason. But, you are doing really well. They are thinking of taking you off the ventilator tomorrow if you stay strong.” Seeing Viktor nod and not break contact Yuri smiled. “I thought you would like that idea. I hope you aren’t flirting with the nurses. I will become a very jealous fiancée.” Seeing what he thought was Viktor roll his eyes Yuri smiled. It was nice seeing the man he loved showing signs of his old self.

Knowing Yakov wanted to see him and Viktor seemed about ready to fall back asleep Yuri promised to see him tomorrow and kissed their hands. Just about ready to leave he saw Yakov walk in.

“How is he doing?”

“Take a look for yourself. He has much more color on his face than he did yesterday.” With a smile, Yuri let Yakov take a look and headed out. Leaving, he heard Yakov call him Vitya and how he was glad to see he was doing what he did best, showing the world nothing could stop him.

Meeting with the others in the waiting room they hung out while Yakov was with Viktor. Once he was back they an early dinner and hung out the rest of the evening. They knew trying to see Viktor all day wasn’t going to help him rest and the doctor would never allow it. Yuri knew he could spend the day with him once he was in a normal room.

“He looks so good.” Feeling his mother take his hand as she did when he was child, Yuri smiled and nodded.

“He is. He will only look better as time moves on I just know it.” For the first time since all of this started Yuri was really starting to feel like everything was going to be okay. The man he loved was getting back on his feet, slowly, but every step was a good step. Even with all the equipment still hooked up to him it was doing better than he was in South Korea. Maybe he just had to come home, maybe he had to have faith that he would get back to his homeland. Either way Yuri was so proud of him and excited for their life to get back on track. Even if Viktor had to deal with months of physical therapy he would stand by him every step of the way. It was his turn to be the one that carried him on his back, be the one to watch everything and be there when his legs felt week. Yes, he was positive that everything would be just fine before they knew it.

0o0o0o

**_So, my depression just came back full swing and this story is going on hold. In fact, all my writing isA. I don’t want to let this story go as I waited months to start it but at this moment I have no desire to continue. What should have taken me two hours to type took me all day and zero drive to continue. To the few people that are excited for this story I am sorry. I don’t mean to let anyone down._ **

~Femalefighter~  


 


	6. Chapter 6

.Chapter 6

 **Disclaimer-** I own nothing!

            This was awful. He wouldn’t wish this on anyone. With wires taking over his hand, and chest Viktor wondered if this was worth it. Was this a life worth saving? Being off the ventilator was great he wasn’t saying no to that. Having it in him, controlling his body had been hell. It was lonely too and all he did was sleep. Not that he wanted to be awake while he was hooked up to that though. Having the ventilator taken out was an even bigger hell. Having to be awake as they removed it, throwing up as it was, he wanted to die. Even though the nurses said it was fine and it happens sometimes he still felt bad. He wanted more control than he did. He felt this ruined the image he tried to create for so many years. Knowing he should open his eyes he didn’t want to. He didn’t want to see himself this way anymore. Feeling a hand gently squeeze his Viktor’s eyes slowly opened.

            “…Yuri…” Seeing his beloved sitting next to him with a smile on his face, a genuine smile that showed he was happy to see him, Viktor knew he was dealing with all of this for him. He wanted to see that smile forever.

            “How are you feeling?” At the question Viktor frowned. He didn’t want to think about it. “That bad huh? Want me to get the nurse?”

            “No. I’m not in pain. Just…just tired of this.”

            “I know.” Watching Yuri stand up to kiss his forehead Viktor closed his eyes to savor the kiss. Reopening them he saw something he hadn’t seen before. There was a banner in the room, “Get Well Soon Viktor!” Was written across it in Russian and it was signed by a bunch of people.

            “This was dropped off at the rink for you. Your fan club sent it. And all the flowers. I only brought a few in to give the room color. I brought some to the apartment because the rink couldn’t hold anymore.” At Yuri’s words Viktor’s mouth just dropped. He couldn’t believe it. Never in a million years had he expected this. Feeling his eyes start to water he covered his face the best he could as he started to cry. He needed that much more than he thought. As much as he thought about quitting he knew he couldn’t, he couldn’t let down all those that were supporting him. And Yuri…he couldn’t let him down either.

            Talking with Yuri for a bit they both stopped at the voices that came in the room. Seeing Yurio and Yuri’s mother Viktor looked back at his fiancée. He didn’t know she was here.

            “Viktor! It is so good to see you awake dear! How are you feeling?” Getting the biggest hug from her he saw her smile. Only able to hug her back with one arm he was happy to see her, though he felt bad she made the trip out there.

            “Hello ma’am. Good to see you too. I am sorry for the inconvenience.”

            “Nonsense. You are family! And call me mom!”

            Nodding, he couldn’t believe she would fly out all the way out here for him. Unless, came here for Yuri, to make sure he was taking care of himself. Which he fully understood and appreciated.

            “I am sorry I couldn’t get out here before your surgery. I had really hoped to.”

            “It’s fine ma…mom…I really appreciate you being here at all.” Getting another kiss from her he felt her take his free hand and hold it tight while Yuri held the other. Before he could see how Yurio was doing he heard Yakov come into the room. He must have been doing better if he was allowed so many guests. This was much better than being stuck in the CICU. Just having his friends and family around him boosted his spirits.

            Talking with everyone for a while they left when a nurse came in to do what she had to. Seeing her change the bandages he saw the scar across his chest for the first time. It wasn’t terrible but it was bad enough.

            “With you awake the doctor is going to be here in a bit to talk to you about the surgery and what comes next.”

            “Alright. Can Yuri stay here for that?” He wanted him here with him for strength and because he knew he would want to. He could have stayed in the room for this but he didn’t want his love to see him being taken care of. He felt so useless and that wasn’t who he was at all.

            “Of course.” With her wide smile, she finished up and left the room. Seeing Yuri’s mother come in first he half waved to her. It was nice to see her again, he just wished she didn’t have to see him like this.

            “You are alone?” He didn’t care he just figured she didn’t speak Russian.

“Yuri went to use the restroom and to grab lunch with the others downstairs.”

“You could have gone with them. I don’t want you to not eat.”

“He is going to get something for me. I figured you would like the company.”

“I really appreciate it. Have you been to our apartment ma…mom?” Calling her mom was going to take some getting used to.

“I have and it is beautiful Viktor. You two have made a wonderful home together.” At her compliment, he felt his face blush a bit. He was happy she liked it, knowing she approved of his choices with her son was something he always strived for.

“Thank you…I am really glad you can be here for Yuri. I know he has been really worried about me and I want to make sure he is taking care of himself.”

“Of course dear. Though, I came out here for you. You are my son-in-law and therefor family.”

“Well…I’m not family yet.” Speaking of, he didn’t think he would be well enough to fly to Japan for their wedding. It was in what? Two, maybe three weeks. “Mom…you don’t think Yuri will hate me if I ask him to postpone the wedding, do you? He has worked extremely hard to make things perfect and I want him to have the best wedding he can. He deserves nothing less than that.”

“All my son needs is for you to be well.” Getting a loving, motherly kiss on his cheek he saw her smile. God, he was not used to this sort of treatment. Yuri’s whole family was too good for him. Seeing his fiancée come in with food with the others she stepped off to the side so he could come over and sit with him.

“How are you feeling?”

“You don’t have to ask me that every half hour Yuri. I promise I am fine.” Having him kiss him he got his fiancée to smile.

Talking with the others they all got quiet when the doctor walked in a half hour later. He forgot that by hospital standards this was in a few minutes.

“Hello Mr. Nikiforov. How are you feeling?”

“I’d feel better if I could go home.”

“Sorry. You have some time before that. But now. I went over everything I got from the South Korean hospital and what the tests showed here. I did the heart surgery because you had a collapsed valve. I knew this when you were transferred here. After looking over everything it’s clear that your enlarged heart started from the stress of your skating career. Enlarged hearts are sadly more common in athletes as they push their bodies to the limits in training. I don’t know what doctor you saw last year, because I saw in your record that you did see someone, but a problem should have been present. This just doesn’t happen overnight. Yuri told me you had breathing trouble after a skate last year, that was sign that something was wrong.” Feeling Yuri squeeze his hand he squeezed it back to remind him to breathe. “Now, what I did with the surgery. I went in and corrected the collapsed valve. See, heart valves allow blood to flow through the heart. When one doesn’t work right it can lead it heart problems. Whether the valve collapsed first or the heart was enlarged which caused the collapse I don’t know, tests don’t show that. But. I’ve been monitoring your heart since the surgery and it is safe to say it is pumping the way it should be and the electrical pulses are back to normal levels.”

“So, he won’t need a pacemaker?” At Yuri’s question, he could his love knew that was his biggest fear.

“I don’t believe so.”

Getting a temple kiss from his love Viktor saw how happy he was for him. Obviously, he could tell he had that fear.

“Although, I will not rule out the fact that you may need a vest once you go home?”

“A vest?” What was he talking about? Would he need a vest for his scar?

“It is called a life vest and what it does it is send your heart a shock should it stop beating.” At that, Viktor felt his heart stop and Yuri tighten his grip. Trying to get his mind to focus he asked the question they all wanted to know.

“How likely is it that my heart will stop?”

“At this moment? I don’t see it happening. This will become clearer as we take you off things. I just like letting my patients know all of my thoughts so they have an idea of what could come.”

Right now, it wasn’t likely. Good. He was going to keep it that way. The goal was to give Yuri less fear over his health, not more.

Being left alone with their family and friends Viktor noticed Yuri was staying quiet. Wanting to talk to him about everything he gave their hands a little nudge to get his younger companion’s attention. Mouthing a “are you okay?” He saw Yuri nod and give a half smile before kissing their joined hands. He was engaged to the worst liar ever it was almost cute.

Being alone for the night, Viktor went through his phone since he had nothing better to do. TV was boring, and being alone made him think more than he liked. Wondering what Yuri was up to he sent him a text hoping he was up. Though, he was probably with his mother.

_“Hey! What’s up?”_

_“Just bored. Wondering how things were going at home.”_

_“Not bad…Makkachin misses you like crazy.”_

_“I miss him too. You know…I’m not going to need that vest Yuri. I am going to get stronger.”_

_“I know…I just…I want you around for a long time”_

Yuri was too precious. He loved that man more than words and knew he would get better just for him.

_“Are you busy Yuri? Can I call?”_

_“Miss me that much? But it’s fine. I’m just in our room.”_

Before he text him back he called him. Calling was much easier since his left hand didn’t want to go too far.

“Your mother isn’t staying in our room?”

“No! It drives me crazy. She has been sleeping on the couch. Viktor, she won’t even let me get her an air mattress.”

“She is your mother.” Laughing, Viktor felt better hearing Yuri laugh too.

“Oh! Let me facetime you. Makkachin is staring at me all excited.” Watching the screen change to connect to the facetime call, Viktor accepted it and smiled as he saw his old companion sitting next to Yuri all excited.

“See Makkachin! I told you Viktor was doing well.”

“Hi Makkachin! Keep the bed warm for Yuri will you?”

“We snuggle every night.”

Smiling, Viktor slowly let it drop as he wanted to bring up the whole reason he needed to call. “Yuri…I need a favor from you.”

“Oh? What is it?”

“Can you…I need you to call… I don’t think I’ll be able to…” God this was so hard. The last thing he wanted to do was postpone their wedding. All he wanted right now was to make Yuri his husband.

“You want me to call everyone back in Japan. I know. I get it. I’ll call the venues tomorrow.”

“I am really sorry Yuri. And I wanted to bring it up in person but having everyone around, while I love them, well, I just couldn’t get you alone.”

“Please don’t apologize. Your health comes first. We can get married once you are all better and home. I’d rather wait to be married than be a widower before I am married. I had been thinking about calling it off as well. I just wanted to talk to you about it first. Viktor. I need to apologize to you. And, well, I understand if you’d rather not marry me at all after this.”

“Y…Yuri…Why wouldn’t I want to?” Scared he was going to hear Yuri found someone else he gripped his bed sheet with his open hand. He wouldn’t blame Yuri for wanting to be with someone who is healthy but, he did still love him.

“This is all my fault Viktor. You pushed yourself so hard because I pushed you to keep going. To come back here, to do the Olympics. You told me you weren’t sure you wanted to do them but I pushed you and look what happened. I almost lost you because of my selfishness.”

“Yuri…” Watching his love start to cry he wished he could hold him. This wasn’t his fault and knowing he blamed himself at all was heartbreaking. “You had nothing to do with this. I knew my limits and I insisted on pushing myself. Please. Don’t blame yourself for anything.” Hating the distance between them he tried to get Yuri to look at him. Getting him to understand he saw him nod and wipe his eyes. “I will always want to marry you and stay by your side forever Yuri. I knew this back in Japan when you were hurt.”

“I love you Viktor. I love you so much.” Hearing him sniffle Viktor tried the last thing he could to get Yuri to understand.

“Think of us being even now. I blamed myself for you getting hurt because I failed as your coach and you blame yourself for me pushing myself too hard. We are even.”

Seeing Yuri nod he figured this wouldn’t be the last time they talked about this but hopefully he would be home when they did. “I love you Yuri. You keep my heart beating. Please don’t forget that.” Admitting the truth to his love they both dropped the conversation.

Starting to yawn, Yuri made them hang up so he could get some sleep. Knowing he would see him tomorrow made him feel better about letting him go. He really missed being with him.

Talk of going home. That was a beautiful thing to hear. His recovery from surgery was going well and the doctor was really thinking he wouldn’t have to be here a full week. He was going to have to take it easy for a while and would be on pain pills as his chest healed but he could manage it. Really, he just wanted to sleep in his own bed again and get some bills paid. He knew Yuri was capable of paying what they had due in terms of their apartment but he had smaller bills to worry about. His credit card was one of them. If he asked, Yuri would have done it but he felt bad to make him do even more. It was bad enough he was here as soon as visiting hours started and stayed till they ended. He loved the company but he still felt bad that Yuri was wasting so much of his time here. Sometimes his mother would tag along, sometimes she would insist on staying behind to clean the apartment and watch Makkachin. Yuri would swear the apartment wasn’t dirty though.

“She came for you Viktor. She was worried sick about you and made arrangements to fly out to see you. She said she will go home once you are home and settled. She mentioned that she wanted me to be free to help you and not worry about the apartment things.”

“Your mother is too nice. I am really not used to that at all.”

“Just wait. She has been cooking too. Once she knows what you can and can’t eat you’ll never cook till she leaves.”

“Okay. I love your moms cooking though.” Sharing a laugh, Viktor brought Yuri closer to the bed to sit with him. Moving just a bit over he had him rest against him. “I missed doing this.”

“Hopefully soon you can come home. You have one less machine on you it looks like.”

“Oh yea! Nurse took it off before you got here. I have no idea what it was for. She told me but it was early.” Teasing, he looked down at Yuri to get lost in his eyes. He was with a great man. “Really. I would just love to be taken off oxygen and to have some of these heart monitors taken off. I mean. I know my chest is nice to look at but this is a little much.” Both smiled again as Yuri placed a hand between two of the sensors. Following his hand, Viktor stopped as he saw the bandage on his chest and frowned.

“Most people find scars sexy you know.” At Yuri’s words Viktor smirked.

“Are you part of that?”

“Maybe. I’ll have to see it first. It’s a size thing for me.” Just having the words leave his mouth Viktor’s mouth dropped as Yuri’s face blushed. “That’s not what I was implying. Oh god.”

“You know…I’m still in the hospital I can ask them to make it bigger if you need.” Flirting back at his love he saw Yuri’s face just go redder.

“That’s not what I meant!”

Reaching to kiss Yuri’s temple Viktor was happy they were able to tease the other again. It was truly the little things he had missed while he was sick.

“So….is everything taken care of back in Japan?” Viktor still didn’t want to ask about their canceled wedding, he felt awful they had to do that in the first place. Yuri said he was fine with things but he knew he spent a ton of time and energy on the planning. Then there was the whole money thing. Yuri used a lot of his own savings to pay for the venue and smaller items, he didn’t want him to lose that money.

“Hmmm? Yea I called the venues and explained the situation. They said they hope you get better soon. And, they will hold our deposits so all we have to do is rebook. Perks of being you I guess.” Feeling Yuri kiss his cheek Viktor was speechless.

“I’m sure it’s because your town loves you. But, please. If you talk to them before I do please tell them how grateful I am.”

“We will tell them together.” Having Yuri hands slip in between Viktor could tell his heart was pounding. In fact, he was shocked the monitors weren’t beeping from the increase in activity. He truly loved this man.

Squeezing Yuri’s hand Viktor sat up in bed and let the doctor do what he had to. With the stethoscope to his chest he kept quiet as he waited the verdict. He wanted to go home. He wanted to sleep in his own bed and with Yuri close. They had taken most of the IV’s out of him already and he was allowed to walk the hall with a nurse’s help. He still felt weak but everyone said it was from not being active for long. Once he was doing better they recommended a little physical therapy that monitored cardiac issues. He was game for anything so long as it meant he could go home.

“Viktor. I know you don’t want to leave us but I think it’s time we part ways for a bit.”

“Really? I can go home.”

“I have a few things I need to go over with you but yes I will sign your release papers.”

With Yuri’s help, Viktor made it up to their apartment. Putting the key in the lock was the most wonderful thing in the world. Turning the knob and opening the door he stopped to just take in the beauty that was home. Oh how he missed it. Hearing barking, he saw Makkachin sitting with his tail wagging before he ran in circles.

“Hey there. Miss me?” Carefully bending down, he let his faithful companion run to him and say hello. “I missed you too Makkachin. I am sorry I was gone so long. Hope you were good for Yuri. Careful, careful, daddy is still healing.” Trying to get Makkachin to step back a bit as he wanted to cuddle up against him, he had to be careful he didn’t go near the incision site. Seeing Yuri help move Makkachin and help him up both shared a look of how happy he was to be home.

“Hello Viktor. I am so happy to see you out of the hospital.” Seeing Yuri’s mother come over from the kitchen to give him a big hug he noticed she was careful not to hurt his chest. Letting her go he moved over to Yuri and kissed the top of his head.

“I am going to lie down for a bit. Get me if you need me.” He was already exhausted from just leaving the hospital to coming home.

“Let me know if you need help with anything.”

Getting into fresh sleep pants. Viktor climbed into bed ready to shut his eyes. Hearing Makkachin come prancing into the room and jumping on the bed he brought him close to snuggle with him.

“I am so happy to be home.” He had left his home for the Olympics, now a little over a month later he was finally back. He knew life wasn’t instantly going to get better. He still a lot of recovery to do but he was home and that was the first step towards getting the life he dreamed of. The life he would spend with Yuri.

 


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

 **Disclaimer-** I own nothing!

            Waking up to sheets wrapped around him, Viktor slowly sat up in bed and stretched. How long did he sleep for? Slowly getting his feet over the bed he took his time leaving the bedroom and seeing where his fiancée was. Finding him in the kitchen talking to his mother while they both worked on food, he put his arms around Yuri’s waist and kissed his cheek. Seeing him smile and blush he heard him mumble something before asking.

            “How are you feeling?”

            “I’m good. That nap was nice. Our bed is so soft.”

            “Hope you are hungry. Dinner will be ready in about an hour.”

            “I am ready to eat real cooking.” Kissing his cheek again he felt Yuri turn in his arms and look at him with a deep red in his face.

            “My mother is right next to me. Do you have to do that?” At the Russian, Viktor smiled and kissed Yuri’s lips this time.

            “I’ll stop I promise. I just missed you.”

            “I missed you to. Go relax in the living room, we can snuggle on the couch when I am done.”

            Doing as he was told he had Makkachin follow him to the living room and turned on the tv. He really was tired of laying around from being in the hospital for so long but he was tired even after his nap. Hearing his stomach growl he realized just how hungry he was. Looking over the back of the couch he saw Yuri still at the stove. Getting back up he took his time walking back to the kitchen.

            “I thought I told you to rest?”

            “I’m hungry.”

            “Dinner is cooking Viktor. Please be patient.”

            “I am. I just came to see if we have something to nibble on.”

            “Here.” Looking over his shoulder from the cabinet he saw Yuri holding an apple out towards him. Wasn’t really what he was looking for but considering he had no idea what they had right now it would probably have to do.

            “Doctor wants you to really watch what you eat.” With Yuri’s comment, he could tell he read the look on his face. Not wanting to worry his love any longer, Viktor took the piece of fruit and went back to the couch.

            Just finishing up he heard Yuri come over with his mother. Sliding over with Makkachin to give his love room they sat together before he felt Yuri rest his head on him. Wanting to make sure Yuri’s mother didn’t feel out of place Viktor was going to make sure she had room to sit with them when she sat down on the loveseat. Though, had they always had that chair there? Asking Yuri about it he saw him shake his head.

            “I bought it the other week. We had a lot of company coming and going and I saw the place up the room had one that matched this one pretty closely for a great deal. Is that okay?”

            “I don’t mind what you do. This is your place too. And I probably would have done the same thing.” Pulling Yuri closer to snuggle him better he made himself wince which caused Yuri to pull away.

            “Are you okay? Do you need something?”

            “N…no I’m okay. Sorry. I brought you too close to my incision. My breast bone isn’t ready to be snuggled against yet.”

            “Please be careful. The doctor warned you to take it slow.”

            “I am I promise. Just really miss holding you.” He was telling Yuri the truth too. He really missed cuddling with him and holding him. Not having him in his arms was depressing.

            “Give it a little while. Once you start to heal better you will be able to do all those things again.”

            “I know…I know.” Still, it didn’t solve the problem now. At least he was home, he was alive and home with the man he loved.

            Sitting, watching TV they talked more than watched knowing Yuri’s mother wouldn’t understand a thing. It was nice to catch up while he took it easy. Hearing Makkachin move in front of him to bark, Viktor figured he needed to go out. Looking over at his fiancée he waited for him to lift his head off his shoulder so he could slip his shoes on.

            “Stay here Viktor. I’ll do it.”

            “But,”

            “No. You just got home and you really need to rest.” Well this sucked. So, he went from being trapped in a hospital bed to being trapped in their apartment. This wasn’t what he wanted at all. Not going to fight Yuri over it he let him go

            “It’s nothing personal dear. Yuri is just cares about you and wants to make sure you take care of yourself.”

            “I know I just feel bad. I don’t like being waited on.”

            “When Yuri was injured you did the same thing to him.” Seeing her joke about it Viktor thought back to the other year when Yuri was hurt. He was so worried about Yuri making his back worse he hardly let him leave the bed. Was this his payback for that? Yuri had to stay in bed though or else he could damage his back. He didn’t have to stay in bed he was just exhausted right now which could be from just getting out of the hospital.

            Once Yuri was home with Makkachin the table was set and soon after they sat down all together to eat. Viktor had no idea what it was but it smelled delicious.

            “The doctor wants you to cut back on the sodium intake so I did some research and found this. It sounded good.”

            “I’m sure it’s fine love. Thank you for doing all of this.”

            “Well. I know you have to take care of yourself but that doesn’t mean I can’t make you a good ‘welcome home’ meal.”

            Taking Yuri’s hand and giving it a gentle squeeze Viktor smiled and said, “You truly spoil me.” Taking a bit Viktor noticed it tasted fine. Maybe because he was so hungry for real food but it wasn’t lacking any flavor. He could do this salt free diet no problem.

            “Oh Viktor. Here.” Hearing Yuri come over to the couch after dinner, Viktor looked up only to be handed something. Given medication he stopped and stared at his love.

            “Doctor said your blood pressure is high and to take twice a day remember?”

            “Yea but,”

            “Just swallow the pills.” Watching Yuri walk away he looked down at the array of pills he was handed. This couldn’t all be for his blood pressure. Maybe one was his pain medication. He couldn’t remember what else was wrong with him but he knew the doctor was giving him something for when the pain really became intense. Thankfully, he hadn’t had that happen yet. He was just sore most times. Popping the pills in his mouth he swallowed them with the water he was given and went back to scratching Makkachin while they cuddled on the couch. He did feel bad that Yuri wouldn’t even let him do the dishes but he was feeling another nap coming on. Being home was beyond calming for him. He couldn’t stay completely inactive though, if he did nothing all day he would get fat. His goal was to get better so they could pick a new date for the wedding he didn’t need to try to drop forty pounds for it. Yawning, he laid down on the couch and shut his eyes.

            Waking up to Yuri’s voice he saw him kneeing in front of the couch.

            “Hey love.”

            “Why not sleep in the bed if you’re that tired?”

            “I just wanted a power nap.”

            “Viktor, you’ve slept for over an hour. Go to bed.”

            “No.” Rolling over he put his back to Yuri only to stop and wince making him roll back over.

            “Are you okay?”

            Sitting up, Viktor nodded and gently rubbed his chest. He couldn’t touch it too hard or he would just make the pain worse.

            “Can you help me shower? I want to take a real shower before I go to sleep.”

            “Sure. Just remember the doctor said,”

            “Not a super hot shower. I know I know.” He could already tell he was going to get tired of “the doctor said” rather quickly. Getting up slowly he felt his body was stiff from not moving. This was why they wanted him to think about physical therapy in a few weeks once he started to heal better, so he could gain back the last motion from being bed ridden for so long. Taking his time to the bathroom he sat on the toilet trying to get his sweats off. Normally he would do it standing but he didn’t think his body would handle that very well right now. Just getting them off he got a towel around his waist before taking his shirt off. Getting it off as the bathroom door opened he saw Yuri in the mirror. Both were looking at the bandages covering his heart. How ugly. Both broke focus on the healing scar to go back to the task at hand.

            “I’m surprised you aren’t just naked in here. When have you ever worn a towel before the shower?” At Yuri’s teasing Viktor just smirked and made his way to the tub to get the shower running.

            “We have company I am trying to be polite.” Really, he didn’t know. Perhaps it was because he felt so unattractive right now. He felt littered with marks from all the wires and tubes he had attached to him at one point.

            With Yuri’s help he got in the shower safely and just let the water wash over him for a minute. Hearing Yuri sit next to the shower he wished he could say something to him. He just had no words for this. He felt bad everything came down to this. With the water soaking his hair he ran his fingers through it and thought how he felt so uncertain over his future. All he wanted to do was take care of Yuri forever but now he didn’t feel so certain over it. He wasn’t all that worried about money for he had a good bit before the Olympics but he knew it wasn’t going to last them forever. Shampooing his hair, he let the suds move through each strand, happy they could finally be properly cleaned. Washing it out a few minutes later he stopped and moved the shower curtain just a bit to get his head through.

            “Yuri?”

            “Hmmm? Need something?”

            “I just…I need to apologize for everything. And to ask. Will you still love me if I can’t provide for you the way I planned?”

            “Viktor. I…of course I will. But, you shouldn’t have had to ask that in the first place.” Seeing Yuri get up he was kissed for a moment before pulling away knowing he was getting Yuri all wet. Having the shower curtain pulled back to expose him more Viktor felt vulnerable in more ways than one.

            “I just. Nothing will be the way I planned anymore and I don’t want to drag you down with me. Providing for you has always been my goal and while I am not panicked about our money I know we have no income. Even once in Japan I can’t start working until I become a legal citizen.” In fact, they had already started on that paperwork months ago so by the time they got married everything would be set for when they moved back to Japan. But, he was uncertain it would be accepted, or that he would find something that would support Yuri the way he deserved.

            “I can work though so if we need something I can do it. Why are you so worried about our money situation?”

            “I’m not. I just. You mean a lot to me Yuri and after your accident I know you can’t do a whole lot without risk of hurting yourself. I figured that once I retired and we moved back to Japan I would work either with your parents or at Ice Castle, or both, just to have some sort of income, some spending money and that way you wouldn’t have to worry about it.”

            “Viktor. I am not some upper-class snob that doesn’t know the words hard work. I get I must take it easy but if I have to get my hands dirty I will. And if we find staying in Hasetsu wasn’t giving us enough employment options I am not against moving to the city. But. These are things you shouldn’t be worrying about right now. You need to focus on getting better.” Watching Yuri come into the shower with him he felt the man he loved put his arms around him and gently rest his head against him. “Your only concern right now is to make sure this never stops beating again. Understand?” Yuri said pointing to his heart.

            Smiling down at his fiancée, Viktor kissed the top of his now soaking wet head. “I love you Yuri. I love you isn’t even a strong enough word.”

            A little later both came out of the shower. Yuri was now soaking wet though they both needed a moment like the one they shared. They didn’t do anything sexual, he wasn’t allowed to right now anyway. But, to just have Yuri close, let them be together, sort things out and know that their love was true, Viktor felt better about where they were. He was always focused on getting better but Yuri was such a rock for him. How did he ever think he could survive without love?

            Saying goodnight to Yuri’s mother, after insisting tomorrow they get her a bed to sleep on, Viktor went into their room for the night. Sitting on their bed petting Makkachin, who refused to let him go far, he wished Christophe and Phichit luck on their programs for World’s. And to thank them for being out here while he was in surgery and recovery. He understood why they couldn’t stay and see him once he was in a normal room but he appreciated the sediment. He really did have the greatest people around him. Texting Yurio and wishing him luck he didn’t expect to hear from him until after the competition. He knew from experience that unless it was Yakov or his grandfather, Yurio didn’t care to respond.

            Hearing the bedroom door open Viktor saw Yuri come in the room and smile at him when their eyes met.

            “I’m surprised you aren’t asleep yet. You were so tired before your shower.”

            “I wanted to wait for you. It’s been so long since I had the chance to cuddle you I didn’t want to miss it.” Watching Yuri come to the bed and slide under the covers, Viktor waited until he was comfortable before putting his arms around him and laying down with him.

            “I am so glad you are home.”

            “Me too. I really missed being with you.” Kissing Yuri’s neck, they shut their eyes for the night.

            Waking up drenched in sweat Viktor sat up and got the covers off of him. Why was he so hot? And why did he feel like his heart was racing? Hearing Makkachin stir he put his finger to his lips to have him stay quiet. He didn’t want to wake Yuri. He had worried him enough he didn’t want to scare him anymore. Just waiting to see if it passed he got up to sit in the living room. Just opening the bedroom door, he stopped remembering Yuri’s mother was sleeping on the couch. Closing the door again he carefully walked back to the bed. His heart racing scared him more than the fact that he was sweating so badly. Trying to think of what to do he sat on the edge of the bed and tried to focus on his breathing. He wasn’t going to panic. He was going to sit here and calm down. If he wasn’t feeling better in an hour than he would wake Yuri.

            Feeling the bed shift Viktor looked behind him and his eyes twitched as the bed lamp went on, on Yuri’s side of the bed.

            “Viktor? Are you okay?”

            “Yea. Sorry did I wake you?” Watching him slide closer he felt him touch him only to pull back.

            “You are sweating.”

            “Yea. I got really hot under the covers and it woke me up. Go back to bed.” Feeling his heart still pounding he wondered what was happening. He was fine at the hospital. And dinner wasn’t bad at all so why was his heart still racing? And his chest was sore from healing. Maybe that was why? Could it have been from the healing process that he was feeling like this.

            “Viktor. Talk to me. What is wrong?” Knowing his love was smarter than this Viktor tried to think of a way to handle this. He really didn’t want to scare Yuri anymore.

            “I am fine Yuri. It’s just…I woke up to my heart racing.”

            “Did you have a nightmare?”

            “Not that I am aware.”

            “How long has this been going on?”

            Looking over at their alarm clock Viktor looked back at Yuri and said, “a half hour now.”

            “And you didn’t think to wake me up? No. Getting mad at your stupidity won’t help you. Want me to call someone?”

            “All the doctor offices are closed and I really don’t want to go back to the hospital over nothing.”

            “Your heart racing isn’t nothing.”

            Watching Yuri pick up his cell phone and call someone he was only half listening to his call. Hearing him get off the phone he felt him get out of bed.

            “Get shoes on. We are going to a twenty-four-hour store to check your blood pressure.”

            “I don’t think we have any around here.”

            “Then I guess we are going to the ER.” Knowing he wasn’t going to get out of this he slowly stood up and looked for his shoes.

            “I am going to tell my mother what is going on. I’m leaving the door open.” Carefully going back to the bed he looked at Makkachin who was sitting up watching him.

            “I am not going to fight with him. He is worried about me. I just feel bad.” Getting a kiss from his fuzzy companion he finished getting his shoes on.

            “My mom is going to stay here and take care of Makkachin. With any luck you won’t be admitted, just monitored.” Nodding, Viktor really hoped so. He really didn’t want to get admitted again, he just got home.

            Calling for a taxi he heard it ring and ring, why were they closed? He used this company all the time when he had late night flights. Telling Yuri he couldn’t get an answer he was told the one thing he didn’t want to hear. “Call for an ambulance.” It seemed like such a waste. He was basically fine, so he was sweating and his heart was racing he felt fine. Doing as he was told he called and explained his symptoms. Knowing someone would be here shortly he went in the kitchen with Yuri to wait.

            “Maybe they can help you here so you won’t have to go to the hospital at all. That would be good for you.”

            “Yea.”

            “Please Viktor. You need to take care of yourself and that includes getting looked at when not feeling well.”

            “I know.”  Taking Yuri’s hand he kissed it as a way of thanks for being here with him and being a voice of reason.

            With a knock on the door, Yuri went to get it and let the EMT’s in. Meeting them, Viktor told them what the issue was and watched as they put a cuff on him to monitor his blood pressure. Not looking at it and trying to breath he heard them say something about checking the other arm. How bad was it the first time then?

            “Mr. Nikiforov your blood pressure is at one-forty-one over ninety-two.”

            “And that is bad?”

            “That is very high. How long have you feeling this?”

            “Forty-five minutes now.” Hearing one of them speak into their radio, Viktor knew that wasn’t good. Great. Just what he didn’t want to do, go back to the hospital.

            With Yuri in tow they went into the ambulance and he was already being hooked up to medication. He had told them back at the house what he was taking and when he took it so they were going to pass it to the overnight ER doctor.

            Getting to the ER, Viktor got settled as he was hooked up to monitors again. At least this time there weren’t as many. Being told they were going to monitor him for right now and if it wasn’t low by the morning they would admit him. Seeing Yuri come into the little closed off section that was his, he watched him sit down and take his hand.

            “I am really sorry I worried you.”

            “I am just glad they think it might be a temporary thing. I know you don’t want to be stuck here again.” Getting a kiss on his hand Viktor smiled at the one he loved.

            “Can you cuddle me while we wait? I don’t want us both not sleeping.” Tugging on their hands Yuri smiled and joined him in the little bed. It wasn’t the most comfortable thing in the world but it was better than nothing. And he got to stick to his goal of holding him while they slept.

            “Love you, Yuri.”

            “Love you too, Viktor.”


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Disclaimer- I own nothing!

            After speaking with his doctor, who was not too happy to see him back so soon, Viktor was allowed to go home. They had to make a stop and pick up a blood pressure machine but it was better than being forced to stay in the hospital again. It was bad enough he spent all night in the ER he didn’t want to be stuck in a gown, in a room, for days on end. Keeping Yuri’s hand in his own they made their way to the store to get what they needed and headed home. Entering his front door Viktor was greeted by his best friend and asked how he was feeling by his soon-to-be- mother-in-law. It was strange to see her here but considering he wasn’t close to his own family at all he really enjoyed her company. He was honored she loved him like her own. Even though he was engaged to her son there was no rule saying she had to treat him like family.

            Yawning, Viktor grabbed Yuri and headed to their room for a little early morning nap. He had slept like garbage in the ER and wanted a nice nap so he wouldn’t end up back there. Before he could though, Yuri handed him his pills and water to take them with. Doing as he was told he swallowed them and they went to lie down. It sucked that all he wanted to do was nap but he kept telling himself he just underwent major surgery and this was to be expected.

            Waking up from his nap he saw Yuri still sleeping soundly. He was probably just as exhausted as he was. Yuri was trying to hide it but it was obvious he was nervous over his health. Kissing his cheek Viktor let him sleep as he got up to make food. Coming into the kitchen he saw Yuri’s mother cooking, was she ever not? Asking if she needed help with anything he was told no and to relax. Well, this was boring. He was never a big tv watcher and that was all it seemed he could do. Come to think of it he had a few books he bought way back when that he never got the chance to read. Maybe now would be a good to start them. Going to his book shelf he looked around for the few he put up. He had never been a huge reader simply for the lack of time but he enjoyed it when he got the chance. Finding one of the ones he was looking for he grabbed it and settled on the couch. He hadn’t a chance to do something like this in a long time.

            Hearing Yuri come out of their room he looked up from his book to smile and wave at him. His fiancée had the cutest bed head.

            “What are you doing?” Hearing Yuri ask he lifted his book up for him to see. “Wow. Is that an actual novel?”

            “Yes…why?”

            “I just never saw you as a reader.” Getting a kiss from his love Viktor shrugged.

            “I never have time but it was a nice way to spend a day alone.” Watching Yuri go ask his mother what she was doing and to tell her again she didn’t have to cook every meal, Viktor went back to his book. He wasn’t at it long when to put a place marker and closed it. Without the ice would this be his life? Would he be forced to sit home and do nothing all day? That was no life for him. He needed to go out and be active. Sure, he loved a down day just as much as the next person but he didn’t want every day to be the same. Feeling the couch shift Viktor saw Yuri come join him on the couch in a huff. Looking at his love with questioning eyes he saw him nod towards his mother.

            “Love her to death but she is driving me crazy. She doesn’t have to be a maid. It means a lot to me that she wanted to come out for you but I can help around the house.”

            “Let’s eat first and then we can go out, get her a proper bed, and maybe I can convince her to not do so much.” Both could smell the late breakfast she made for them before they heard her call to them to come eat. Getting a half smile and a nod from Yuri, Viktor stood up and took his hand so they could go to the kitchen together.

            “I really am fine on the couch dear you don’t have to spend the money on me.”

            “Nonsense. I am well enough to go to the store and get something so after this we will. And please mom. I ask that you don’t overwork yourself while you are here. I love the visit, it means a lot to both of us but your health is important to.” Giving her, his best smile Viktor saw her nod and promise both him and Yuri she would try to be more comforting support.

            “I am very happy to see you doing well Viktor.”

            After they ate they made sure Makkachin was okay and then headed to the store. There was one not too far from their apartment. Forbidden to walk it since it was just far enough than Yuri liked, they took a taxi. Viktor really wanted to stretch his legs but he wasn’t going to fight Yuri over it. Perhaps once they were back home they would take a nice walk together. He knew he had to be careful since he was still healing if he got sick he could face major problems but he really wasn’t a fan of staying in the house.

            Being shot down for the walk Viktor slouched and went back to the couch to mope. Yuri was in the workout room moving some of the equipment so they could put the mattress in it instead of the living room. Being barked out by his best friend Viktor had him come on the couch and snuggle him.

            “I know Makkachin you are bored too. I am sorry. But we need to be good. I need to be good.”

            “I know I’m being a tight ass but I worry about you. Give your body a few days and then we can take that walk okay?” Hearing Yuri come into the living room he saw him lean over the back of the couch.

            “Okay. I promise I’ll be good and keep my health in check.” Shifting his head, Viktor went in to give Yuri a kiss. “I love you Yuri.”

            “I love you too. Hey. The Championships are starting soon. Did you want to watch that?”

            “Sure.” Sitting up while Yuri grabbed his mother he got the TV on for them. Snuggling Yuri on one side, and Makkachin on the other Viktor was grateful for the fates that he could be here for his family.

            After the men’s program Viktor turned it off and stood up. He couldn’t watch anymore. He didn’t want to be rude to their friends so he watched them but he hated knowing he wasn’t there as well. This was his last chance, he had worked so hard to place and for what? Scaring the love of his life half to death, and killing himself in the process.

            “Viktor? Everything alright?” At Yuri’s words, he looked over at his fiancée and just nodded.

            “Yea. Sorry. I’m going to lie down.” Tossing the remote on his lover’s lap, he went into their room and fell face first on the bed. Screaming from the pain of not thinking he heard Yuri come running in. Trying to get himself to sit up he felt Yuri’s hands gently on his shoulders asking what was wrong. Taking his hand when he could he sat back on his knees and tried to catch his breath.

            “Sorry to scare you.”

            “Are you alright? What happened?”

            “Wasn’t thinking. I’m fine though.” Slowly moving to his side of the bed Viktor gently went to sit against the back board. His chest really hurt now.

            “Want me to get your pain pills?”

            “I’ll be okay. Thanks though.” Knowing Yuri was watching him, Viktor put a brave face on. This was his own fault. Not saying anything for a while Viktor looked up to see Yuri looking at the ground lost in his own thoughts. Even with his big frames it was easy to see into his eyes.

            “Hey Yuri…can I talk to you for a second?” Getting his attention, he saw him quickly come out of his mind and ask what was up.

            “Of course.”

            Seeing him scoot closer, Viktor looked into his eyes. “Do you think we could talk about our wedding?”

            “Viktor. You don’t need to worry about that. Just get better. Once you are back on your feet we can pick a new date.”

            “I just…”

            “Rest Viktor. I know you hate the idea of doing nothing but please. For me, just focus on yourself for right now.

            “Yuri.” Taking a good look at the one he loved he could see what his health had done to the other. “Sorry. I am really sorry I let things get this bad. I want to apologize for how worried I made you.”

            “You don’t have to apologize for anything. I know you would have stopped if you knew. I just. The thought of losing you was the worst feeling in the world. I don’t know how I would have kept going if I lost you.”

            “Yuri…”

            “You’ve been with others before you. You know how to just move on and re-date. I don’t and after everything I don’t think I would ever want to.”

            “I wouldn’t have been able to move on from you. If things had been different. I’ve been with others before but you are my fiancée for a reason. There is no one else after you.”

             Meeting each other’s eyes Viktor saw Yuri’s wavering. Without saying a word Viktor felt the bed shift as Yuri leaned over to kiss him. Putting his arms around him, Viktor brought him closer. He truly loved this man and he knew healing came first but he wanted to be with him forever. He wanted to get their life as one started.

            Falling asleep after Yuri left him to rest Viktor’s eyes snapped open as his chest was on fire. It felt as if someone was stabbing him repeatedly. He wasn’t a huge fan of pain but this was off the charts. Why did his rib cage have to hurt him this much to heal? Why did they have to move his rib cage at all? Trying to get himself to sit up he knew his pills weren’t here. When he came home he asked Yuri to just put them away. It never dawned on him that he would need them. He read about the healing process and the doctor told him he would hurt but he figured like a twisted ankle not like a broken leg.

            Struggling to get himself out of bed he left the bedroom to see the apartment dark. Of course, he was home alone right now, that was his luck. Well, no matter. He was capable of making it to the medicine cabinet in the bathroom and taking his pills. Where was Yuri though? Using the wall for support, he slowly made his way through the living room to the bathroom. Gripping the sink for dear life he opened it to see nothing but the normal medications were there.

            _*You’re kidding me, right? *_ Double checking he saw it was just bandages and medicine for muscles. Closing the cabinet’s door, he sank to the floor unable to deal with standing in this pain. Telling himself it would pass eventually he moved the few inches to the corner of the room and used the linking walls to help him get comfortable. This was awful, his chest felt as if it was on fire. Forcing his body to move his arms, though it wasn’t helping the pull of his chest, he got his shirt off to make sure his cut wasn’t open. With all this pain, he was ready to see blood pouring from him. Seeing nothing but the bandage he rested his head in the crook of the wall and waited for time to pass. It seemed time was moving in slow motion now.

            Believing he was hearing movement in the apartment Viktor tried to get himself to stand. The pain was unbearable though and all he wanted to do was continue to cry. When did his life get like this? Why did the fates hate him so much?

            “Viktor!? What the hell happened? Are you alright?” Hearing Yuri’s voice as he came into the bathroom he lifted his head to see his fiancée kneeling in front of him.

            “I…I...hu…” He could barely get the words out. From the agonizing pain, to all the crying, he could barely function.

            “Hold on.” Watching Yuri bolt up and quickly leave the room he closed his eyes to hear him say his name a moment later. Feeling something push against his lips he took the medicine he was given and the water. “How long have you been like this? Oh god I feel so awful. I went to take Makkachin out and grab something from the store. I shouldn’t have left you alone.”

            Shaking his head, Viktor didn’t want Yuri to feel bad. This wasn’t his fault. It was his own. He was the one that got sick, he was the one that had major surgery. Holding his glass in his hands, Viktor saw them shaking.

            “Your medication is really strong. Can I help you get back to bed so you can rest easier when it kicks in?”

            Not having it in him to move he really didn’t care if he stayed where he was forever. Watching as Yuri moved beside him in the small space he felt his lover carefully move him to rest against him. Keeping his head on Yuri’s shoulder he let his hand fall on his lap as well. Snuggling his younger companion was all he needed right now. The pain was still as strong as ever as the pain medication slowly entered his blood stream but being besides the one he loved he could manage it a bit better.

            Feeling the pain slowly ebb away Viktor fixed his position on the ground.

            “Feeling better?”

            “I love you.”

            “I love you too. Can I ask why you took your shirt off?”

            “To remind you that you love me.”

            “…you are high, aren’t you?”

            “No…” Though he felt light as a feather right now. And his fiancée looked so cute.

            “Oh my god you are. They gave you some powerful pain killers. Come on. Let’s get you to bed.” Watching Yuri carefully get up he reached for him to stay only to be helped to his feet instead.

            “Yuri…” Standing up, he stopped where he was. He was not feeling well at all. What was this?

            “Viktor? Are you okay?”

            “No.” Just getting the words out he shifted a bit to throw up in the sink. His stomach was in knots. Feeling a hand on his back he said nothing as he went back to the floor to lay where he was.

            “Honey, is everything okay?” Hearing Mrs. Katsuki come to the room Viktor wanted to keel over. He hated having her see him like this.

            “The pain medication is affecting him.”

            What pain medication? He was certain he just threw it all up.

            “Can you try to eat something Viktor? The medicine is probably too strong to take on an empty stomach.” Knowing she was beside her son, Viktor just buried his face in the tile of the bathroom floor.

            “Rest.” Forcing the words from his mouth he heard the two say something to themselves before he felt Yuri’s hand leave his side.

            “I’m going to get your pillow and see if I can’t make something easy to eat.” Not saying a word back to Yuri, Viktor didn’t move. The pain in his chest was feeling better but now the rest of him felt like crap. He would rather be in pain than have Yuri watch him get sick. Having his head gently lifted Viktor felt Yuri put his pillow under it for him.

            “Please get me if you need something Viktor, alright? I love you.” Being left alone Viktor stayed where he was. What a miserable life.

            Waking up to Makkachin’s nose Viktor slowly sat up. His stomach was still feeling queasy but he really figured that was from the pain medication. At least the pain in his chest was pretty much gone. Now he just had the leftover feeling of knowing it had been there. Carefully getting up, he left the bathroom to see Yuri coming towards it.

            “Oh! You are up. I saw Makkachin go prancing over but I didn’t know if you were still napping. How do you feel?”

            “I’m getting there. Did you make food?” He hated asking, he shouldn’t have to. He should just be able to make his own things.

            “Yes! Yes, I did. Go sit.” Watching Yuri get excited and head back towards the kitchen Viktor sat at the table. Just getting settled he saw Yuri put a bowl in front of him.

            “It’s an old Japanese recipe.  I know you needed food and with your stomach hurting from the medicine I figured this would be good for you.” Grabbing his spoon Viktor took a bit to taste it. Seemed fine so far. His stomach didn’t seem to hate it yet either so that was good. Having Yuri sit next to him while he ate he wondered what he had done all day and if he was eating this too. It was delicious. Just talking for a bit made Viktor happy. It made things seem like they had a sense of normalcy again. That was all he wanted.

            Finishing up, Viktor went back into their room to lie down again. While he wasn’t all that tired sleeping on the bathroom floor wasn’t comfortable. Hearing Yuri follow him he heard him ask why he had his shirt off. Right, he did take it off before.

            “I was making sure my chest didn’t open. Yuri, the pain was so bad I could have sworn to you my chest was ripped open and my heart was exposed.”

            “I am really sorry I wasn’t able to help you sooner. I don’t know why it didn’t dawn on me to put your pills in the medicine cabinet.”

            “Don’t worry about it, it’s fine.” Reaching out for Yuri he had him come closer. Feeling him gently sit on his knee he was happy they could do this. These little things were all that truly mattered to him.

            Going to bed for the night Viktor made sure he popped a snack in his mouth before he took more pills. He knew the pain medication only worked for no more than six hours and before it got unbearable again he was taking at the first sign of it wearing off. Curling up with Yuri, who didn’t want to get too close and hurt him, they fell asleep.

            Seeing the lamp go on Yuri’s side of the bed, Viktor knew he should have been more careful. He just couldn’t help it right now. He didn’t know why but he woke up having to throw up. Honestly, he was surprised he didn’t wake Yuri up with him trying to get out of bed. Not hearing Yuri say a word he felt him rub his back as he threw up in the garbage can the room held. This was awful. Why was this happening? No matter what though he was not going back to the ER. He wanted one night with no issues. Just one. Carefully laying on his side, close to the edge of his bed in case it hit him again he saw Yuri’s hand touch his face.

            “Maybe the pills are too strong for you.”

            “I had no issue at the hospital though.”

            “This isn’t what you were on though. Remember. The doctor told you what he was giving you to take here was different than what you were on.”

            He didn’t remember anything. He was so excited to be going home he didn’t hear a word the doctor said. Mumbling that to Yuri he heard him sigh.

            “Tomorrow I’ll call your doctor. Tell them you are allergic to this one and need something else. They may want to see you though.” Getting a kiss on his cheek Viktor moved away. “I know you hate feeling useless but this is my turn to take care of you.”

            “I don’t want to go back. I’ll be fine without.”

            “Don’t be stubborn. You were curled up on the bathroom floor in tears because the pain was so bad. You don’t have to act so tough around me.” Glaring over at Yuri he sat up in bed. He hated that Yuri saw him like that. He knew Yuri loved him and he knew he didn’t think he was any less of a man from what he saw but still. No one had ever seen him cry before.

            “What is wrong Viktor. Talk to me.”

            “Nothing.” Getting up he went to brush his teeth and deal with this garbage can since he knew Yuri’s mother was now sleeping in the guest room. Coming back a little while later he saw Yuri had the lamp on though he was laying back down. Climbing back into bed he went to reach over and turn off the lamp only to have Yuri reach up and deal with it.

            “Night Viktor.”

            “Good night Yuri.” Going to kiss his cheek he stopped and just laid down. He knew that tone Yuri used, he was upset with him.

            The next morning Viktor sat up to realize Yuri was out of bed already. Staying where he was he tried to think of a way to make it up to him. There wasn’t a whole lot he could do though. Maybe he should just apologize for being stubborn.

            “Morning mom. No Yuri?” Coming to the kitchen he was surprised to see her alone. Usually Yuri was beside her.

            “He took Makkachin out. Hungry?”  Seeing breakfast being put on a plate he did the right thing and sat at the table. Maybe he should just push his pride aside and be compliant. Starting to eat he noticed it was just the two of them for a while before Yuri came into the apartment all bundled up.

            “Good morning Yuri.” Watching him hang up his coat he was tossed a bag as Yuri came in further to see what he could help his mother with.

            “What’s this?”

            “New pills. I called your doctor and told them you were having side effects. They wanted you to stop taking those, obviously, and said they would talk to the doctor when he came in. Surprisingly I didn’t wait long to hear he sent a new prescription over for you.”

            “Thanks Yuri. I do appreciate it.” Smiling at his love he saw he got a small smile back. He really messed up. “After breakfast, think we could talk?” Watching him nod they stayed silent about themselves and talked with Mrs. Katsuki.

            Cleaning up from breakfast Yuri told his mother to relax and call home figuring they were all missing her. Not being allowed to help, Viktor sat at the table and watched Yuri do the dishes. He already had butterflies in his stomach over what he wanted to tell the other. He wasn’t worried he would get upset over it just that he wouldn’t see him in the same light anymore.

            “Want to go into our room? It’s snowing out.” Snapping out of his mind at Yuri’s question he nodded and followed him into their room after Yuri told his mother if she needed anything where they would be. She seemed happy playing with Makkachin though.

            Sitting on the edge of the bed after getting the blind open Viktor felt Yuri sit next to him.

            “I feel really bad your mother is still here. There is nothing to do.”

            “She doesn’t mind. She told me she is thinking of flying home at the end of the week though. So long as you stay out of the hospital.”

            “I’ll do my best.” Looking at his feet he saw Yuri touch his knee and give it a little squeeze.

            “What is it that you wanted to talk to me about? Everything okay?”

            “I just…wanted to apologize for how I have been acting. Pushing you away isn’t my intention.”

            “Honestly, I don’t like it though I can’t say I didn’t expect it.”

            “What?” At Yuri’s words and the taking back of his hand Viktor looked up to look at his face.

            “I know this isn’t what you hoped for. You can’t hide yourself from me Viktor. You fear what happens now. This reminds me of me when I when I was hurt. You promised to take care of me, always at my heels wanting to help but neither of us knew what the future held.”

            “Yuri. I…you are right. I am scared. I want you to live a comfortable life with me. Family around us, and surrounded by our love for each other. And, okay we still have our love but I don’t know how I can provide for you, for us, and that future. Not to mention all my life when things happened to me I was alone. Now, now I have you.”

            “Is that what it was? Viktor. You have no reason to feel ashamed because I had to see you in a different light. Let your vanity go.” At the sighed words leaving Yuri’s lips Viktor stopped.

            “It’s not my vanity. It’s who I am. You’ve seen my parents, you know the life I lived. If I showed any sign of weakness I would have…well…it wouldn’t have gone well. I know we are together but I still hate having you see that side of me.”

            “You are human!” Watching Yuri stand Viktor looked down at his feet again. He didn’t want to make Yuri upset with him. He shouldn’t have tried to explain it. The whole thing was a dumb idea.

            “Viktor. Look at me. I of all people get it. I suffered with my mental problems for years. Only Phichit and yourself saw it firsthand. It killed me to let you see that but, you still loved me for it. You still said yes when I asked you to marry me. You parents are asses. I hate saying that but well, it’s true. They put you through hell. But you shouldn’t let that stop you from coming to me. I love you and being there for you when life happens is all I want.”

            Reaching out for Yuri he had him come into his arms. He loved this man. He loved him more than words. All he wanted to do was love him and take care of him and be a rock the way he was for him.

            “I’m sorry Yuri.”

            “Stop apologizing. I love you. Just don’t forget that.”

            Settling down, he kept Yuri’s hand in his and rubbed the ring Yuri wore. Come to think of it he was really missing his. He noticed in the hospital he didn’t have it but was too drugged up to ask about it. Watching Yuri get up before he could mention it he saw him run over to the dresser and come back with something in his hand.

            “This is yours. I didn’t want to lose it on you but I forgot to give it to you the other day.” Being handed his ring he slipped it back on his finger. He felt calmer already.

            “Thanks for keeping it safe. Yuri. I know you are going to stick by me just…don’t hate me if I don’t run to you okay? It’s nothing personal. And, bear with me while I try to sort my life out. I knew I was going to retire after this season but having to sucks. I feel like I have no hold on my life anymore. The ice is all I knew. Yuri, when you were hurt I told myself I would work for your parents because I couldn’t go back knowing you weren’t allowed to. Not that I would have been able to leave you in Hasetsu while I came back here. But, I don’t know. I feel like I have no options. I know I could work for them once I become allowed to it’s just…I don’t know.”

            Getting hugged by the one he loved Viktor put his arms around him to gently hold him. He knew what this was, he knew Yuri would understand better than anyone else. Viktor had a million thoughts in his mind from being depressed. He needed fresh air and answers and right now he couldn’t have either. At least he a man that loved him.


End file.
